I don't warn to alarm you but I have been breathing in paint fumes all day. The mexicans are back at the house spray painting the walls because they have never heard of paint brushes or rollers. All I know is that I am catching a cold. I am stuffy headed and my throat hurts but not the kind of hurt I get from acid reflux. It is the achey pain of a sore throat. Every time I swallow I taste paint.
I think you know why I am moving. Card Shark is getting married and I need a new place to live. The house is a crack house. I got a call from a tipsy Card Shark last who asked me to tuff it out for a little longer. The Mexicans wanted to know what time I wake up on my days off. I told them 2pm and the negotiated me down to 10 am. They never showed and my sore throat woke me at noon. I had a full bladder that when drained was the color of tangerines. I have not eaten a tangerine in years, but I often sell them at work.
Some good news. Stephanie assures me that a car wash in the works so I am sure I will be getting my laptop soon. In other news I am still internetless and computerless. I am at the public library today. I forgot to eat breakfast but I am not too hungry right now. I can't live without the Internet. I love being online. It seems that Netflix had some problems delivering me my DVD's. I finally got 2 yesterday, so at least I have something to watch.
I was reading Women by Charles Bukowski a book that was suggested to me by Katie Schwartz. I loved it and took it to work where it got stolen. I am so pissed. Not because of the money (though it was 10 dollars down the drain) but because reading it was inspiring me to write my book of women as well. I was thinking I was almost as funny as the great Bukowski. I know. I was getting a bit ahead of myself. But writers like NFL quaterbacks need egos. the other book I ordered has yet to arrive but i think the Mexicans are in charge of mail collection now and I am worried that my book has been packed or lost. They already packed the remote control to the dvd player. They drank all my coke and and bottled water. I think you know how I feel about people drinking my coke. I can go bat ass crazy over that shit. Seriously if it weren't for the fact that they don't speak English and there was three of them I would have been ready for a beat down.. Quit fucking stealing my coke. Steal anything else. Anything but my coke.
I can't find the FRO. I left a note at the condo and it was still in place. I have varied the times I go over to the condo. I am texting and calling and e-mailing and no response. the house looks abandoned. I can't see much inside but a light that has remained on for the last week. Fro's working car is gone, but his broke down Geo is not. Someone left a note on the Geo hoping to buy the car. It reminded me of the time I sold my car on Craigslist and some guy bought the car for 250 dollars. He paid me 150 and said he would come back with the rest of the money. He never did. I sent him letters and he still did not pay me my money. Now I know what credit card companies feel like. Which reminds me that I am getting sued and need to file a response.
I feel like my life has become a lifetime "thriller" movie of the week. Only I act in real time not movie time. I have not seen the fro in a month or so. I am only now getting concerned. Maybe he is in jail for all the drunk driving he does. I am sure he won't like me talking about his drunk driving, but i need to elicit some kind of response from him to see if he is still alive. I am willing to pay half the rent at his place so I think it make good financial sense to get back to me as soon as possible.
I have 28 minutes left of internet time. I am typing very fast. I have already checked my e-mail and myspace pages. I need to watch some lifetime movies to figure out how to find my lost friend. I hope is not decomposing in the conod. Dead people smell is difficult to get out of a place and I will be forced to move in to one of those pay as you go monthly rentals. I really need to get a second job as a nightwatchman with Internet access so that I can keep up with the blogging.
Sorry I have no fat girl jokes today. I have no Internet celebrity news. I don't have time to look those things up and still write to you. All you have now in the homeless thing and the mystery of the missing Fro to keep you entertained.
I got a myspace from my best friend at my old job in the court house. I invited her to lunch. It will be nice to catch up. She was my original female friend. Since BF (to learn more about BF read the first months archives--I don't have time to link to stuff y'all!) I have had a few other female friends. (in real life. yo! a shout out to all my vgay peeps online --keep it real!) I really am growing as a person. Sometimes women aren't just vaginas. Well sometimes women have things to offer in addition to their vaginas.
Speaking of vagina my exgf can't talk to me anymore because she got kicked out of her sisters place and is back with baby daddy two who does not like her talking to me. I do inspire jealousy from male competitors. No reason to worry dude. I am not looking for a single mom with drama and two kids. She will probably get impregnated and I will end up with her at that point.
We have a new girl at work covering shifts from all the fired workers. She is super cute and 19 so I am in love. I announced to the world the other day that any person, "exhibiting the secondary sexual characteristics of the the female gender and being moderately attractive will find that I have a secret crush on said person." I am sure from my remarks she understands that we are meant to be together. Forever.
Lots going on and so little time to write. Funny I write more with no computer than when I had a computer. I won't take it for granted anymore. When I buy my computer I promise to write.
Keep up with the car washes! I can't stand the fumes anymore or walking on bear walls or how the TV echoes throughout the house. I find it creepy. Not as creepy as the prospect of the fromiester's decomposing (I always knew there was a 50% chance I would be the one to find his bloated and smelly) body, but creepy nonetheless.
Good night and good luck,
(tigra) *
*Hi bunny!**
**You said you would read the blog, bunny. I don't think you have. I knew I could not trust a vegan!
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