Saturday, December 30, 2006
Knock... Knock. "Who's there?" "It's the FBI and we're listening on all your phone calls, is that cool?"
Friday, December 29, 2006
My team is in a double game elimination showdown for awesomeness. Right now my team's awesomeness is just 4 points down. Next week will be the key. The title is up for grabs.
But I am going to win. I just know it.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
If you meet a Wangster and it's a 19 year old blonde girl. Trust me. She's as hard as she says she is.
Speaking of people who barely fuction I "hung" out with Jeramey and his friends the other night. Which means I stayed at home and his friends got high on the reefer in my garage. I didn't mind it that much since my stepmom and dad were visiting and I needed help entertaining them.
"I want to get a tattoo." She might have looked like the new Britney Spears, but she had been to Jail plenty. Enough that she wanted to get a tattoo that read "Fuck the Po-lice." Why?
"Because anytime you go to jail the cops ask if you have any tattoos."
You are probably thinking that a girl like that needs to get a good plan together for her life. But I've got to admire anyone who has that much of a hold on their lives.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
What I’ve got is a rare condition called didelphic uterus—two vaginas, two cervices, and two uteruses. I look completely normal from the outside, but there’s a septum inside where everything branches into two. My doctor says I’m one in a million.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
I don't have anything to lose anyway.
Like most other bloggers I am an unemployed sexual deviant who lives in his mother's basement. The closest I get to screwing a girl is fist fucking Rosie Palm after decorating her in my cousin's dirtiest Barbie doll outfits.
A number of those deviant basement bottom dwellers survive and prosper because they have developed a relationship with their readers. They call it a community in the blogger world. Even this tiny blog has a culture and small readership community.
And I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I've always encouraged participation here and will continue to do so in the future.
And I have no problem with how most other blogging communities handle themselves either. I consider myself an admirer of Podcasts such as KATG and Ze Frank. They have an economic model they can pursue because of fan loyalty and community support.
I am just not too sure if bloggers understand their power yet. None of them had time to learn to deal with the ferocity of allegiance they can command, like say a Howard Stern has.
Recently on The Show with Ze Frank he suggested that members of his community adopt a myspace friend. All of his fans would bombard the "deserving" but nearly friendless victim. A prank. Funny and harmless really. I am sure the "victim" would be flattered by all the attention and revel in the amusement of being pranked by so many people at once.
But Ze does admonish his followers to beware of "looking like spam, whatever that is." So even a relatively harmless joke has the danger of misperception. And apparently some of Ze Frank's followers are in danger of changing into a tin can of salted meat.
I am astutely aware of how this weblog can appear to some people. I was recently tipped to an "inappropriate" posting I made on this blog which many people in a particular community felt went too far.
Maybe it did. I tend to cross the line to find out where I can next draw it.
I decided to review the post and I removed it. While I corrected the problem and that could have been the end of it, I think not. Why not take this oppurtunity to lecture others? It could be instructive if some of the "A" list bloggers and podcasters out there took the time to consider the direction and intent of their communities. They need to understand the responsibility that comes with reaching large audiences in the age of the internet.
Old school and mainstream media were founded on the ideal of the public good. They served the public interest and their existence was predicated on the belief that they actually served something more than the private interests that financed the publication.
Today's mass media serve only private tastes. It is formed in the uncensored unconscious mind. Private thoughts are no longer constrained within the minds or journals of their creators. Instead they are vomited on the anonymous Internet. Releasing the private unconscious over the the false anonymity of the internet only reinforces our unconscious impulses. We feel safe to create. But that privacy is an illusion.
How to know if your community has reached the Crisis of Mob Mentality:
- The creator of leader of the blogging community losses control of the direction or intention of the blogging citizens.
- Threats of violence
- Cyberstalking i.e. abusing or flaming individuals, harassment at work or in the non-digital world.
- Releasing of private information onto the internet.
Act before it takes place to encourage responsible behavior by setting a good example yourself. And take responsibility. It's the creator's job to make sure the community is policing itself through courtesy, not torches.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
"I got 2 more days before I go back in. I'll be going in for 7 to 9 months."
Where is my brother? He's in the bathroom cleaning off the 3 gallons of puke from his shirt. Before Cody and Jeramey walked in with their puke stained jeans and shirts I got excited because Jenny walked in the house alone.
"They put the dogs down because they tried to bite the cops when they came to arrest me."
"Well that makes sense." I reply.
- Perverted Justice.com
- Yahoo removing chat rooms for teens
- Non-stripper females in Gentlemen's clubs
- Dateline NBC
Thursday, December 14, 2006
I know I have been memed more times that you care to read. Like my ex-GF on myspace I will saturate your In-box till it is full of mindless crap.
But it is the only way I can keep track of who my ex-girlfriend is fucking, so I never complain directly to her about my inbox.
So I guess I wish you wouldn't complain to me directly either. Though I have noticed how my comments have dried up over the past few days with all "edgier" material.I miss your comments and meme requests. Somehow I convinced Kate that memes are not real science. But now I have a new friend. And while he couldn't come up with 6 weird things we didn't know about evil Vulcans, I expect he thinks I will have an easier time coming up with my list.
He's wrong. My entire blog career consists in pointing out weird things about me. I am not sure that I have 6 left. If I did have 6 more weird things they would be quite embarrassing for you to read.
1. Like I might be a stepsister fucker.
Let me explain. I was pre-teen. My step sister was a whore. And I always wondered if a finger could fit "in there."
2. I can't remember the last time I had sex.
Let me explain. After reading the first point you need further explanation? I was abused. And the "kicks" you get from finger banging relatives cannot compare to "kicks" one gets by getting laid the usual way. Date rape is a close second. But I have no idea how to get a hold of Rohypnol.
3. I caught my brother blowing his nose in the family's towels. Every day my mind drifts back to the horror of that moment.
4. I am a member of the Communist Party USA.
5. I love citizen band radio.
6. I pick my nose to much. But I read somewhere that it might be good for you. So suck on that, America.
I hereby MEME Foxxxylove, Jezebel, Knows it all,and the Real Salty Senorita . If I thought Utter wonder & Drunkenstepfather would then I would meme them too!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Make Me Famous, I'll make you famous. Then we can lie down in bed and rub money all over each other. I just hope your boy bits aren't bigger
And like my cousin says through a stream of urine "that's some warm ass piss in my mouth."
But that's not all she says. She also says things like "pornography is violence." I remind her that violence is hitting. And then I punch her in the face. Just to make sure she remembers. My cousin has a Ph.d in annoying normally, but she can shut the fuck up quickly when she needs to.
Not that it's not fun to listen to hear moan sometimes about men. How we're all rapists I mean. I wonder after my cousin says retarded things about men if she ever considers how men treat other men. Does she think it's with kid gloves? All Hooter's and strip clubs? Because I seem to recall men are not very nice to other men. Actually we're kinda bitches.
I don't want to be President of Harvard, but men and women often have a different take on things. What you call my objectification, I'll call Romance. Who's to say how I should conceive romance? I say don't be such a Notion Nazi.
This post isn't dedicated to you. Even if you think it is. So stop thinking this post is about you. It's about me, baby. It's always about me.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
At least that is how I will describe the Redneck boxing matches that took place today. My Pops decided he would rather go back to the Fifth Wheel than take a chance that our illegal boxing show couldn't get us arrested.
To the lady holding the Video Camera I can only say, "I don't wish to be You Tubed."
After editing out any of the clips that accidentaly get me in the shot, I will post said video.
That's right. I just said it. I will be posting redneck boxing matches that were held out in front of my home.
Somebody shoot me.