Boredom is lack of connection, my anger is OTHER directed & also I flip the inverted pyramid upside down so it's like it's supposed to be

The best thing that's come from living in the Quarantine State is that many of you are finally experiencing the same lifestyle & circumstances that have left me tired of life. What am I talking about? A lack of meaning.  No connection to something greater than myself.  A boring an uninspired life.  A Repetition of fruitless tasks. Welcome to the milieu of the unskilled.  A place where we can not brag about our jobs.  A time when we are ashamed about our ability to provide for our families. The virus and all these events have left us worried for our physical safety in ways no American has for decades.

I know this because so many of you tell me how hard things are for you.  I know that many of you have lost your jobs.  And for most Americans having a job is really important.  It defines who you are.  It's the first question we ask each other. Though really that question is just an attempt at understanding our place in the social hierarchy.  But Americans don't like to think about class.  We fool ourselves. We call everybody middle class.  I think Bill Gates says he's still in the middle class.  

You probably had a job until 3 months ago.  But now you are living off unemployment, or aybe you are working from  home and have had to take a pay cut.  Maybe your job isn't as glamorous as the food clerk at your local grocery store.  You aren't "essential."  People don't thank you for your service anymore...they only thank me.   And maybe you are having a bad time about that.  

Don't fret.  At least you have a choice.  Most of us going to battle against the virus have no choice.  WE go to work because we can't stay home.  I didn't have much of a choice, how long do you think I could stay home making near minimum wage?  A choice of ability to stay home could save my life.  I've had cancer, my cancer was in the blood as they say and it damaged my heart and was in my lungs.  It left it difficult for me to climb stairs.  I need to go see a cardiologist, but who can afford that too?  So if I get this I'm probably a gonner.  I'd definitely trade places with you if I could.  Also, kinda tired of being thanked by my customers without masks anyways.  Not that I get gratitude that much anymore.  You are all ready forgetting who is doing what.  You are so damned bored that you are losing your minds.  You equate social distancing because in this pandemic with an intrusion on your rights.  Well, last time I checked, the right to live is first.  So take precautions when you are out there and you might just end up saving my life.  

The Self Help Guide to Surviving the Pandemic:

AS a guy who had lived his whole life in a perpetual state of boredom let me provide some self help for you.  I know how it feels to have a job that no one respects, or how it feels to not have a job at all.  Honestly this is just pride on your part and you can let that go real quick.  If you take a shit in your pants on the front line charging a machine gun, no one really focuses on the shit. No one gets embarrassed easily. They are just trying not to die.  

So instead of focusing on what you don't have:  A girlfriend, friends who respect you, a car, the ability to make your monthly mortgage payment, focus on the things that you do have.  Like that box of expired jello pudding snacks in the back of your pantry.  Those things don't really expire, so if you have some milk, you got pudding! 

Don't worry about your social status,  it's totally coming back!  In fact I would harken to say that class will be a bigger and badder thing in the near future.  The USA is finally going back to it's European roots and get a bit classy.  Meaning educated and rich people are going to be looked up at even more and the poor and the dumb will be stuck in dangerous and old fashioned jobs where we get coughed on by possible carriers.  

Americans in general can't wait to go back to mistreating clerks and the little man.  Most grocery store chains have already stopped the hero pay. Only consumer outrage has them backtracking and offering bonuses.  So I guess the second thing you could do is write an e-mail to the store you purchase your groceries from and request that those heroes get paid.  It will benefit you in the long run.  If you're rich, you will keep the tide of lumpenproletariat from tearing down your city.  If you are an unemployed bum benefiting from the extra 600 dollars of emergency money, you don't have to feel as guilty.  Though you should.  Because it is possible that your bartending job is going away forever and you will have to start work alongside me.  

[As an aside WTF are strippers going to do?  How many of you can really move your craft over to camming?  Do you just go to prostitution?  Won't that be even more dangerous that it was before?  Also, how much do you charge?]

How do I deal with the boredom though?

When you are broke and as socially inept as I am you have to watch a lot of TV and read a lot of books.  But I have noticed that boredom is less about the lack of things to do and more with the lack of connection to something bigger and to other people. 

If you are lucky enough to have a spouse or a partner then stick to them like glue.  They should be your guide in how to get through this.  Take care of your kids.  Visit your granny.  Wait take that back.  Call Grandma.  Don't visit her, you'll probably kill her if you go see her!  Wish her good luck too. 

You might take up playing video game playing.  I don't play them.  As a 50 year old single male who played Dungeons & Dragons and regularly visits forums on how to "pick up chicks" I figured why not just go full nerd and vegetate on some video games.  I do like war tanks after all. I have spent two weeks worth of vacation trying to decide if I want to spend $150 dollars on a starter gaming PC. I could use it for E-sports games and better word processing for this blog!  I have checked out Facebook Marketplace, E-bay, Craigslist, you name it.  I am watching all kinds of videos on YouTube telling me how to put together my own system.  I know the differences between SSD's and SSHD and HDD.  See this google search for more info:

While SSD stands for Solid-State Drive, SSHD is the Solid- State Hybrid Drive. SSD is largely similar to a USB flash drive, only much bigger on storage and much faster on processing. ... SSHD is similar to the traditional hard disk with a very small quantity of solid-state storage built in, approximately around 8 GB.

SSD vs SSHD: Compared - Platinum Data Recovery

Oh, another thing you could do is start a blog!  You could do one about how your hot wife likes to sleep around on you and how your spouse's cheating on you actually turns you on.  Maybe go deep into your childhood and try to explain why you need to revisit your parents infidelity. I'm sure it would make for some good reading.  Might even save you a trip to the psychologist!

To sum up:

You aren't bored.  There are tons of activities to do.  What you miss is your connection to your job which provided more for you than just a way to earn a living.  It provided things like your place in the society.  It told you who you could bully.  It gave you social interaction satisfaction. It left you on solid ground.  You did not have to question the proper place of people and goals in your life.  Today you are left wondering if all the people you didn't care about or need are more important than you are.  Maybe you are just a useless banker that does nothing but make pretend money for rich people who don't need it.   

But the pandemic is pernicious in other ways than just wrangling the air out of it's victims, leaving them gasping for air, alone, coughing and sputtering , their last spastic movements searching for comfort. It also provides the possibility to get rid of whole sections of people who you define as useless.  Get rid of the poor, the sick, the needy.  We will send the poor to the grocery store for us.  We will cut off their unemployment and raises. We won't worry about senior living facilitates, because then we can gut Social Security.  We won't provide treatment to the addicted or places to live to for the homeless.  We will let them congregate out of necessity and then, "Let nature take it's course."   

That course you wish to steer is history one you have dreamed about for years, ever since you came across that old WWII book in your grandfather's basement.  It was supposed to explain to you that draconian autocrats who use genetics to wage 'a war against the weak' are cruel.  But you really liked the idea.  You fancy yourself a survivor.  You fancy yourself, "one of the strong."  There would not normally be much support for this idea among the inhabitants of a strong middle class society with a respect for law and who had social norms that defended the weak.  But these aren't normal times.  We live in times where the diseased attack the healthy just through tthough their breath. 25% unemployment has hastened the arrival of a great mass of useless LumpenAmericans.  

The middle class has died.  Who is left? The takers and the makers.  The makers only need a small group of people to tend to the grass cutting or the nanny making.  The makers cry out,  "Let the Robots come!  Let the Poor die! Let the sick fall over in the street,  I will leave my house through helicopter cars, and I will be whisked away from protests and street crime by automated driving heuristics.  I have no need for my fellow man! And when I do, I command that you go out to the farms and the dirty cities and leave your masks behind!  Remember your freedom!!!! Remember A billion Bangladeshi wish they were you!!"

Day 4 of the Quarantined Vacation and nothing goes wrong

If you think it's hard to write every single day when nothing happens to you, and you base your blog on your real life experiences, then you would be correct.  So the thing is you just sit down and start typing and eventually something will come out.  It probably won't win any Nobel prizes and it will leave your old fans wondering why they even come back here.  They remember a time when this blog was funny and controversial. But as one a dear friend of mine has said, "The new you is grown up and world weary.  You aren't relying on sophomoric humor and easy racism." 

No today you won't get jokes about step-sister necrophilia.  Even though those jokes are still funny to me.

No.  Today I feel a kind of responsibility that goes beyond just t appealing to the kind of people I can shock.  Have I gone soft??  Maybe. Maybe I'm just not funny anymore. 

Well to answer that I'll invite you over to my house and you can listen in to me and my roommate.  When we get started together we seem to egg the other on until we get to a point that if somebody ever taped the conversations we had we'd probably both get arrested and every single decent human being who likes us would hate us and and then disown us.  Frankly, I couldn't be angry at them for doing it.  In fact if I ever heard the conversations I've had with this man from another person I would instantly hate those people too.  

And that got me thinking.  Maybe I am not really being fair to other people when I write something that could be taken the wrong way (or even the right way!)  Should I really make fun of the poor, if I count myself as an advocate? You know before I would say unequivocally "YES."  But today I hesitate before I say some glib thing online.  I have deleted a few comments or left them in draft form.  Take Twitter.  I used to love trolling.  Now I am not so sure.  Am I maturing?  Is that a good thing?  Because frankly, some people need a good troll in their lives.  Right Karen?  Though at this point I've almost started feeling sorry for Karen.  

Compassion is the thing more people need nowadays and it seems like it is always something that's in short supply.  Kinda like toilet paper in the apocalypse, am I right? OK.  Sorry for that joke.

So far I'd say my analysis is at least partially true.  That's because I might just be a wimp, not wanting to put myself out there anymore because trying is hard stuff. Talking about Suicide ain't easy.  Talking about how angry some of us are ain't easy.  You wanna get it right.  You'd like to add to the conversation.  You wanna bring something someone else hasn't. I mean you do if you have any integrity at all.  I'd like to think my writing had some integrity.  But if I don't that's okay too.  I never promised "them" that much here. Haven't you learned one thing by now? Don't put your faith in me.  Not here. Don't make that bet.  You're gonna lose it all if you believe in me. 

I know what you are thinking, "Maybe he can prove us all wrong."  But you and I learned that lesson long time ago.  They aren't wrong. 

We are.

Day 3 of the vacation

Daddy,

Day three of the vacation was quite boring. The roommate made cheese enchiladas. I made tostadas. I watched a little TV. I vacuumed the bedroom and my room looks so much better. I need 2 do that more often. 

Was gonna go the store but decided against it. I bought some Pepsi-Cola® the kind made from real sugar and it's the flattest tasting soda I've ever drank. Not sure if the 2 liter bottles have gone bad or what. But trust me so terrible.

I have yet to get to work on some of the things I promised to write about, but they are coming. The house took a bit of cleaning up and I'm getting used to my new freedom. I hope to write more soon. 

But just sitting here writing every day seems good for now. And maybe a few of you will remember coming here everyday and welcome my return. Perhaps that's all I need to get the creative juices flowing again. 

Tonight I'm trying writing out on my phone and I have to say that the typing experience is not too bad. I don't know if that is because typing on phones has become so good, or I'm just not used to a real keyboard anymore.

You can't do things like ad pictures or multimedia as well as with a big monitor and keyboard. But that's not necessarily surprising is it?

Really thinking about getting a low budget computer for around $150 that's for sale nearby. If I can talk him down to 100 it would be a great deal. Probably gonna change the battery in my Note 8. Best Buy will change it for 50 dollars. A smoking deal really. I won't make the gofundme joke that seems a prerequisite for complaints about money. Still no stimulas check. So I gotta buy everything myself. Not terrible, because I believe people ought to handle they business anyway. But the roommate will be moving out soon and I don't plan get another one. At least not for awhile. Maybe the next one will have to pay the actual going rate for rooms around here. That would make me some extra money. Money I should have, had I kept better hold of my finances. Cancer and internet girls stole it all. But I'll bounce back!

I think I missed you guys. I might just have to keep this up. 

Stay safe out there friends. 

Day 2 of the quarantined vacation

Day 2 starts with a bang.

HAHA not really.

I woke a little later than normal. My alarm actually went off.  I reached over and and dismissed the Pixel 2 and it's pop up alarm.  I then sat in bed for around 2 hours.  Mostly watching porn with the occasional e-mail check.  

It took a few hours for me to remember that I hadn't had a soda.  Eventually I grab a coke and my first meal.  It consisted of the remainder of last night's meal.  Tacos of the shredded beef variety including homemade shells.  It was quite good.  And a real change from the ground beef tacos that I have been consuming regularly for months now.  Next, I will make some beans.  

8:14 Eastern Standard

Beans are on the stove and cooking.  Should be a few hours to be good.  They go well with the Cheese Enchiladas I plan on having the roommate make.   

Today's movie watch?  The Man Who Fell to Earth.  It stars David Bowie and is a weird and sex filled Sci-Fi cult movie.  I remember watching the movie when I was on summer break in the 8th grade.  I was visiting my cousin Ryan.  I thought Ryan was the epitome of cool. He played games like Axis & Allies.  He visited France and came back with a case of culture shock.  I had never heard of Culture Shock before and certainly would have never been exposed to a person who could have suffered from such a thing.  

The only thing I knew about culture at that point was Omni Magazine and Space 1999 toys.  My cousin let me listen to his walkman and I heard music in stereo and high definition for the first time.  My cousin talked to me about his experience watching Flashdance.  It was a cultural powerhouse at the time and was moving the needle in communities where are you had on television was the Trinity Broadcasting network.  Trinity was a group of scam artists who fancied themselves heroes of the christian televangelism kind.  My cousin introduced me to David Letterman, so I spent the rest of the Summer trying to stay up to midnight so I could watch something that was probably over my head, but I still understood that I was watching something that hadn't been done before.  This wasn't comedy for MeMaw or my parents.  This was comedy for Kool Kids like my cousin and maybe me.  As long as I stopped waving goodbye to the Ryan's friends when we left their place from playing A&A.

Ryan was a pretty short for a guy maybe that's why he drove the MG Midget.  A small guy in a small car might not be the best decision, but then again what did I know?  I certainly didn't know how to work on a car like him.  I thought that was pretty cool, because Ryan was certainly the smartest guy I knew.  He was an intellectual in my mind.  He read books and no one made fun of him for doing it.  He argued with adults about politics, something I had no idea about and never even thought permissible.  

I had one 'real' discussion with one of my stepmothers and my dad when I came out as atheist and communist.   They warned me that I was, " ripe pickings for a cult."  I reminded them that no one has ever wanted me (including them) and they remembered how true that was and stopped worrying that I would get brainwashed because no one likes a loser with self esteem problems.   

You know never getting brainwashed in retrospect might have been a bad thing.  A scientific world view doesn't provide anything like being truly certain and correct with the TRUTH.  And I think life is probably easier and less anxious being certain.  Never doubting oneself or one's beliefs.  I could have stuck to WWE wrestling and mindless Christianity and how great Texas and aMErica was and lived in that bubble with little worry.  Maybe even being accepted by society.  Have a few kids and a middle aged wife. Teach bowling and the scouts. 

Instead I doubt all my beliefs,  I can't believe anything for sure.  In the end Reason turns back on itself and destroys the very foundations it provides to as a method for overcoming certainty. The method is doubt.  And while doubt is the perfect method to get towards conditional, truth I have no doubt that living with doubt is the least human way to live.  

House Keeping!!!!

I told you guys over on Twitter that I would be posting every day and I plan on keeping to my word!

If you are as obsessed with me as I am with with you then you are going to need to keep coming back to this page as I will refresh it several times throughout the day.  Frankly, I need to see the views on this blog go up for my vanity and sanity.

I started vacation today.

I just needed to get away from the grocery store and don't have too many plans.  Arizona is just loosening restrictions and things are beginning to open back up.  I don't feel too good about his idea yet. But if I get too bored I might take advantage and do something.  I am taking two weeks off in a row.  I am not sure if that was really allowed as I have rarely seen it done, but the front end leader we have is sort of weak a guy and I took advantage.

I have several plans that are for certain.  I am posting a lot on social media.  I am crock potting a lot.  I am finally going to get a primary care physician again.  I found a doctor pretty close to me and I have heard good things about this doctor.  I hope to get seen by him during my vacation.  If it happens he agrees that I need additional time off during this pandemic so be it!

This post is called house keeping for a reason.  Just catching you up on the person Romius T and this might be a little boring if you don't know me personally or don't follow the blog anymore.  But I figure I am going to let you know what's going on right now so that you can feel where I am coming from.  Let me assure you that there will be some interesting content coming.  Some of the titles I am working on and researching for the next two weeks include: The Myth of the Mediocre White Man, Should I get Angry?- working at a grocery store during the pandemic, Why not Suicide? The kind of Controversial shit you expect from this blog.

The Guidebook: 

I purchased something like 150 dollars worth of food over the last three days so I am pretty sure I am okay to stay inside for the most part.  Despite the large purchase (as a single guy that's a lot of food!) I didn't really buy any lunch meat or a ton of stuff for dinner.  It's mostly water, 8 two liters of soda, a couple of 24 packs of soda (my roommate helps himself to it so that's part of the requirement behind so much delicious Coke.)

For breakfast I have Carnation Instant Breakfast chocolate flavored milk.  Bagels with crunchy style peanut butter and the biggest box of Lucky Charms branded cereal that you have seen. I purchased the Lucky Charms awhile ago and I am happy to consume it finally as it expires in July.  I still have half a gallon or so of milk left but I will need to get more eventually.

This really is a giant box of Lucky Charms brand cereal!  Do you think I can eat all this cereal in 2 weeks?  Do you think I should post a poll and have you guys vote?  What DO YOU think?  Please add a comment to this blog.

After breakfast I will be looking to do dishes unless my roommate is working from home, if that is the case I will start writing.  I will update and correct my work throughout the day, so if you see a lot of typos and the like just refresh that page a few hours later.  You will see time stamps as I live blog.  Twitter and instagram will alert you to my progress.  We are going to make this a multimedia extravaganza. Sure all this comes many years after this blog is relevant but what the hell?  @romiust is my twitter handle and you can always DM for more social links if you care. I am starting a cooking series of uploads on facebook and I might upload them to Youtube if that's possible.  Otherwise you are going to miss out on all of that and folks can I tell you that you aren't truly missing out, but hey I need the attention during this whole stay at home thing.  Also, since I haven't had a GF in like 4 years hopefully you people can fill a void on the inside of me.

I will be taking walks in the evening or night time as during the day it is repulsively hot in Arizona right now.  I'll also update you to my watch list of exciting TV shows and movies.  As I have much better taste than you, stay tuned.

Currently watching Epix "War of the Worlds" TV series.  It's quite dark! There are multiple suicides.  Robot dogs that kill children and kidnap babies.  And a brother that rapes and impregnates his sister.  Also, oh yeah most of the people are already dead and killer aliens are hell bent on killing the rest of us off.

Other things I am looking forward too?

I am looking for a budget computer to game on.  Never been a gamer but decided I would like to try. Currently, my set up consists of a chromebook and wireless bluetooth keyboard.  Remember when I bought that wireless keyboard?  Well I have dusted it off and am using it.  It's going okay and typing isn't too bad.  Much better than the HP Chromebook x2 's smallish keyboard.  I have only a 12.3 inch screen so I'd like a full sized monitor and keyboard to type on for the blog especially since I am committed to bringing this thing back..of course that takes you to help.  I need you to join me on this journey and tell your friends.  I don't wanna sound like a dick, but if I can't get famous this way, there's always me getting a gun and shooting the fucking world up.  Let's try and prevent the fucking carnage, okay?

I am getting thirsty so lemme take a break and get a Coke. *

*I should mention no affiliate links are ever used and I don't get paid for this as Google deems my content too extreme.  So this is all for fun.  One day I'll set up a Patreon or something but really asking you to pay for this shitty content right now is asking too much.

I am looking at a few different kind of PC's on facebook, but I kinda want to get a iMac 27 inch.  I just need an upgraded 2013 with an i5, SSD , 8 to 16 GB of RAM and maybe some kind of discrete graphics card.  Only thing is you Apple freaks make that rather modest set up like $1200 dollars and I am not willing to pay more than $350.  I mean folks it's quite ridiculous.  I could get a new computer that would blow a modern MAc pro out for 1200 bucks.  Be sensible.  Okay well that is the first installment.  I will be adding pictures of the Lucky Charms Box I know you'll want to see!!!