Wednesday, August 03, 2011

My last cat joke ever. I promise.

Robin Williams likes to talk a lot about cats in his stand up comedy.  He does a lot of hissing and scratching miming.

I don't do that kind of thing.  Mostly because I don't like animals.  Though I do talk a lot of about kittens.  Like how useful they are to science and stuff.

Now I know you animal rights activists will get all upset at me.  Some people get really disgusted by my joking about animal testing.  Even though right now there is some scientist somewhere experimenting on cats.

I can't stop picturing Robin Williams as that scientist.  He's bending down to talk to the twin kittens. He is applies mascara to one kitten before trying to calm down the other kitty.

"I have no idea what's going to happen here."  He says to the control kitten. "He could be okay."  He tries to reassure Control Kitty with his voice.

"Really?" Control Kitty replies.  "Nothing bad at all?"

"Possible side effects include: dry mouth, anal bleeding, itchy eyes, blotchy skin, projectile vomiting, and loose stools." robin deadpans.

"Great!" exclaims the Control.  "You had me at loose stools! So glad to have 'volunteered' for this.