Monday, January 30, 2006

Brain Scans May Be Used As Lie Detectors

Brain Scans May Be Used As Lie Detectors: "Picture this: Your boss is threatening to fire you because he thinks you stole company property. He doesn't believe your denials. Your lawyer suggests you deny it one more time _ in a brain scanner that will show you're telling the truth."

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Sex calms nerves before public speaking - study - Yahoo! News

Sex calms nerves before public speaking - study - Yahoo! News: "Forget pretending you are talking to one person or concentrating on a single point in the audience -- having sex is good way to calm nerves before giving a speech or presentation.

But Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley in Scotland, said it has to be full sexual intercourse to get the best results."

Friday, January 13, 2006

The Social Darwinism of Beauty.

Dove, makers of crappy soap products, will be ruining the Super Bowl by promoting "An inspirational ad from the beauty products maker [which] aims to raise girls' self esteem with the message that real beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. Helping girls accept themselves is a mission of Dove's five-year marketing strategy."

First, real beauty does not come in all shapes and sizes. I don't care if Tyra suddenly feels sympathy for fat chicks, they still is ugly. And I know a little something about ugly. Hell my memoirs are called "Memoirs from the short bald fat white guy who sits next to you on the bus who wants to get your attention but quickly averts his eyes when yours meet."

The last thing we need is some hypocritical beauty conglomerate to make society feel bad for punishing the deformed or ugly. If ugly people aren't punished for being ugly then we're just encouraging their "lifestyle choices." We need to end the epidemic of fat men in spandex and BBW women. There is no such thing as Big Beautiful Women. It's a contradiction in words. The next thing Dove is gonna have us do is start giving money to the poor, just cuz they're hungry. Where does it end?

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

The Self Help Guide to Voting!

Jan Brewer wants Arizona to go "Florida" and allow the use of easily manipulated touch screens in upcoming state elections. Her plan did not go over quite as well as she had hoped.

"What had been planned as a simple announcement on the Capitol lawn quickly turned chaotic, as a handful of agitators managed to upstage the first-term Republican and her legion of supporters with criticism of the state's use of Diebold Election Systems machines."

"I have a proven record of delivering on my commitments," Brewer said.

Ms. Brewer has few accomplishments in office, (I might add she was hardly ever at her office and I should know I worked there!) but like a few other evil election officials she has a commitment to injustice and making damn sure we can kiss democracy good bye!

After all, Ms. Brewer would allow into our election process "these same Diebold DRE machines which have been decertified in California, New Mexico, Connecticut, North Carolina and in Leon and Voluisa counties in Florida, where even Gov. Jeb Bush is calling for a statewide investigation into the machines."

Christ, Jeb Bush isn't even pretending anymore...are we gonna let her get away with this? I hope not. Vote for Skip! Better yet maybe a Democrat will run!

Go here for an understanding on how bad these machines really are.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Self Help Guide to Skin Care.

Dennis Miller says we're worth it. And normally I would say that this guy knows as much about skin care "routines" as he does about announcing football games.

So when I am browsing my local Christian salvage food store and I come across "Nivea for Men" for 3 bucks I am a little more inclined towards buying it than a Miller sponsored product. I must give Dennis some credit though, before him I was not aware that I was supposed to be using this crap. I just thought my face would get old and wrinkled and chicks would still love me. But if models and comics need it, I figure I better get on the bandwagon with'em.

Now I want to slap the bejusus outta the salvage food store cult that sold it to me.

THE SMELL. It's exactly the same as Gillette's "Cool Wave" and is there anything worse than smelling like a 3 dollar aftershave all day?

Nivea does not have any "cool" beads or exfoliating agents. It doesn't sting like alcohol, so I have no idea if it works. It does claim to have "double action" qualities of moisturizing and cleansing. I can say it dries my face out less than soap.

I can see no point to owning this product. If some one looks in your medicine cabinet they can only conclude that you have a skin care routine. That will worry the one night stands you bring home (they will conclude you are gay, or vain or both) and bring constant ridicule from roommates and friends that you still look old, unless the sodium sulfate grows me some hair. This shit doesn't work and it's not orange like L'Oreal Men Care.

P.S. can anyone explain to me why a christian "church" would own a salvage food store? I am pretty sure it's one of those cult like churches like "The Door."