I want to Marry this gal or at least interview her for this blog

Emmalee Bauer, 25, of Elkhart was fired by the Sheraton hotel company for being a "goof off."

She joins a long list of good folk who have been fired, just because they refuse to work. She ain't a blogger but instead kept a hand written journal about her frustrations with her job.

"At one point during her employment, Bauer was allegedly instructed to refrain from using company time to work on her personal, handwritten journal. Rather than stop writing at all, Bauer allegedly began using her work computer to keep the journal up to date."

Source: DesMoines Register

Her diary reads just like my early blog the Self Help Center:

"It's noon already and I don't feel like I have accomplished a damn thing. Accomplishment is overrated, anyway."

"I just have to get through the next seven hours and forty-six minutes and then I will be free."

I hope this chick is hot. Cause I havea feeling we would so get along. Ema, if you are out there chat me up sometime.

Source: Obscure Store

Judge: Web-Surfing Worker Can't Be Fired - Yahoo! News

Judge: Web-Surfing Worker Can't Be Fired - Yahoo! News:

"Saying surfing the web is equivalent to reading a newspaper or talking on the phone, an administrative law judge has suggested that only a reprimand is appropriate as punishment for a city worker accused of failing to heed warnings to stay off the Internet. "

You see, I totally should have sued them Maricopa County ass-hats.

A Defense of Bloggers

A commentator on my blog has made the following points:

"One's personal diary and/or therapy ravings and/or venting about work are not what Free Speech is about."

Ok. I am a little worried about your desire to limit freedom of speech so quickly. Is freedom of speech allowed only if your talking about the government?

He goes on to side against employees:

One can hardly be surprised when the thus informed public including employers, local clergy and neighbors find them less-than-hugely-enthralling..


Now are you suffering from Stockholm Syndrome? Do you so identify with your boss that you will take the side of the ruling class in class warfare?

The commentator also insists that we all get what we deserve:

What you do in public earns you everything you get in response.

Now I am pretty sure that everybody does not get what they deserve.

(Warning for KARMA lovers.)

I mean Jennifer Anniston is famous, rich and pretty, but her husband left her. Britney Spears' first husband got jack squat for a payday.

And I guess thousands of children were misbehaving during the Tyhpoon in Asia and God was watching.

Stupid stuff I did

Januarary 10th, I head over to the post office to pick up some registered mail that was sent out to me on Jan. 5.

For the upteenth time its mail informing me of a Jan. 4th date for my appeal. Oh yea, I had an appeal Jan.4th. I wonder how that went. If anyone who reads this blog was there, I would like to hear how it went. I hope it went ok.

Then like a stupid dipshit I let the deadline pass for apealing my unemployment.

Well I am now hooking up with an employment office for work - I can't survive forever with no money. Hookers are expensive and so is CRACK.

I am thinking I will just keep the blog going talking about my misadventures as a TEMP.

If I hear anything else about my former job I will let all my dear readers know.

Possible Interview with National Magazine

Did I give this post away with the title? I checked out a fellow blogger that got fired and I might be getting interviewed in the coming week or so. I can almost feel my 15 minutes coming, and I nothing to wear!

A review of the timeline

Some of you may not be too familiar with the events of this blog so here is a quick rundown:

• August 10 , court management becomes aware of this website.

"it became quite obvious that this website was created and maintained by you. Upon investigation of your Outlook E-mail account , e-mails sent by you indicate you are the originator of the website and it's content."

Talk about your crack investigating staff, after finding emails where I state the website is mine they determine the website is mine.

• September 1

I received a certified letter notifying me that "effective immediately ( I ) was being placed on administrative leave (so the administration could) conduct an investigation...to minimize disruption in the workplace."

You know I find there is nothing like a administrative investigation to minimize workplace disruptions.

• October 15
  

My copy of the "preliminary charges " via certified letter arrives. Chocked full of 7 juicy charges.

• November 8

I have been given 10 days to argue to the very official sounding Judicial Merit System Commisssion.

• November 17

Filed my appeal, a hearing gets set for Jan.4th. Unemployment then denies my claim, after throwing to the wind the first 6 charges, but damn that unlucky 7th one.

Your all up to date.

Bad guys 1 good guys -zero

Well it appears that I have been denied my unemployment benifits, I think I will just delete this blog and give up on this folks .

5 PM deadline coming

I just got a call from unemployment telling me 6 of the 7 charges against me have been dismissed by the benifts office. One down one to go. I get a call at 5 to determine my elegiblity. Keep yo' fingers crossed boys and girls.

Unemployment update

The Unemployment office called at 1:27 , just a few minutes after their allotted time period. For state government , that's not bad! I guess it could be a week or two before a decision comes down as to whether I get benefits or start a job at Wendy's.

My roomate's sister insists that Wendy is looking for another English speaker. I bet.

Januarary 4 is the big day?

My hearing will be held Januarary 4th. Well at least that is the date that I chose. I got a letter from the hearing officer and chose the last possible day he could do it. Nothing like putting off tomorrow what could be done today, right? I am waiting for the unemployment office to call me for a interview to decide if I will get benifits.

It's noon and they have till 1 pm. It's kinda like waiting for the cable guy. We will call sometime between 7 am and 1 pm. I used to provide that level of bureaucratic customer service , some would say it's KARMA biting me in the ass, I say KARMA can go suck on a rotten egg.

Filed my appeal

Well folks , I filed my appeal with the Judicial Merit System Commisssion. It was received as timely. The next timeline is Januarary 4th that's when I will have to have had the hearing by. My tons of lawyer friends will have to prep me on how I can expect to be grilled.

Things taken for granted until unemployment hits.

Here's a list of things you normally take for granted until you are faced with unemployment:

1. A fresh box of Arm and Hammer odor dissolving baking soda for the freezer and refrigerator. [if one of you would just click through a google ad , and buy some baking soda for christ sakes.]
2. Health care.
3. (2 ) two-liters a day cola habit is hard to break.

The hunting of the library assistant vol.1

It's good to know the Attorney Generals office (see my previous post dated Oct. 30) has put aside investigating used car dealers who sell lemons to unsuspecting buyers, to delve into the procedures of spying on it's citizens and state workers.

AG's office: "Uh, but wasn't that car sold to your Ex-wife? I mean that's gotta make it funny? "

Not as funny as abandoning any pretext of civic servitude and substituting the proto-fascist mechanisms of a police state. Though I must admit: for a fascist police state apparatus you do seem to have a sense of humor.

I guess you can get Fired for blogging!

So the day that we have all been waiting for has finally come to fruition. It all started way back on September 1, 2004.

I received a certified letter notifying me that "effective immediately ( I ) was being placed on administrative leave so the administration could conduct an investigation...to minimize disruption in the workplace."

You know I find there is nothing like a administrative investigation to minimize workplace disruptions.

In the letter I was directed "not to enter any court buildings while the investigation was being conducted."

It should be noted the rumors that swirl around me, involving a supposed fetish for guns are completely untrue. Hey, I even support the repeal of the 2nd amendment.

October 15

My copy of the "preliminary charges" via certified letter arrives. It is chock full of 7 juicy charges in official bureospeak fluttered with just enough Starr Report porno type references for easy reading.

Charge # 2 starts off with quite a bit of bravado "you engaged in conduct, which could undermine the integrity of the judiciary."

C'mon, it's not like I rigged a presidential election or sent a guy to jail for life for stealing a slice of pizza.*

Supporting facts of the allegation included such memorable prose as:

"On August 10, 2004 court management was made aware of a website at www.selfhelpcenter.blogspot.com. "

Really? And I thought that the whole no advertising thing was working. Oh, and I won't bemoan the fact that the www website does not exist and that you need the http to get to it. Semantics will get you nowhere.

November 8

I have been given 10 days to argue to the very official sounding Judicial Merit System Commission that I should be able to keep my job. It seems to me that somebody does not have sense of humor right, mister.

Next Post: More fun with Bureospeak™!

* All true events ..look'em up ...try google or wikpedia

Attorney General Spys on me

I was checking on my blog stats recently. I have allowed the blog to coast since being indicted by those who are above me.

But according to the proxy some one from the Attorney General's office appears to have checked out this beleaguered blog. It may have something to do with the Oct. 29 pre-hearing regarding this weblog and it's creator. Ahh, nah I'm proboably just a little paranoid.

The wholly kool adventures of Public Transportation

My hour long bus ride home is always an opportunity to mingle with assorted street people and single mom's with young sucklings attached.
Daily counts:

1. Number of " bitchy" hot girls who wear low rider jeans so low she has to loop her finger through her belt loop in order to sit down without showing her thong and then actually loops the finger preventing any view whatsoever of what possibly could have been a great ass...1

This isn't so much a count as an observation, there are three types of people who wear head scarves:

1. religious women who are worried there hair is so damn attractive it may turn on heathens.


2. cool people who look good it in


3. and finally people who wear head scarves to cover up something you don't want to see. The third type regularly use public transportation and for whatever reason the protective head gear seems to fail right as they come into my view--not to mention the big coffee stain on a 48 dd tit ain't always attractive.

I was chalk this all up to the hazards of DUI's, car accidents, and my general bad luck, but at my last stop a real life sized MIDGET boarded the bus...Maybe god does love me...

Why must thee stalk me oh white trash?

I would hate to see this site become merely another compendium of the sadscape of affairs for white trash living; however, it seems no matter where I go white trash is not far behind. A recent trip away from the house will explain what I mean. I can't get out of my complex without noticing a FOR RENT sign. Nothing special about that , I am located next to a major university. But you would think they would hold up on offering a place for rent which was nothing more that a burnt out hollow hull from an earlier fire. I'd also like to acknowledge the city fire departments commitment to my security which felt no need to knock on my door and inform me of the raging inferno next door. Further down the street a came upon a couple of boys whose idea of a good time was whipping each other with a downed power line in the middle of the street.
If I could figure out how to post pics on this page I would have to have shown you what $20,000 dollars worth of gold rims and spoilers looks like on a 1998 ford festiva. All this just because I wanted a chicken pita.

Investigate they will

It should be noted that my afore mentioned post was a bit ahead of itself. And as this site is itself a fictionalized account--in the sense that names and events are changed in order to keep with ananimaty of the site ( people and incidents are conglomerations and not actual event ) I have repealed the previous post. ( I am merely on paid leave)

I was offered another job today at work.

Wouldn't it be great? If only she were serious. She tells me
"You should be in sales, you have such a calming sense about you."

Calm and laid back is not what most people think of in a sales rep.

"Let's talk sometime." she purrs.

Ok.

This same gal is intent on suing the process server that dropped off her divorce paperwork. For god's sake she hired a private investigator to dig up dirt on the poor girl.

Did I mention though that she is quite exsquite? Dark hair, fair complexion, VERY put together. I have a weakness for snobby, stuck up women who would normally never give me the chance.

Best threatening message to a patron:
I think I would feel threatened if someone promised to " spread my face across the Earth! I must have completed 20 restraining orders today.

People really hate paying child support.

I can't say how many times I have overheard people complain about the State's efforts to force them to pay for the support of their children.

Nothing makes a father happier than when a child turns 18. Happy birthday, Timmy! Now get a job!! The manic joy, the effervescent glee is out right sickening. Why the hell are half of these people having kids?

Patron:
"I have a kid who turned 18 , how do I kick him out my house? You know it's bad enough you can't do anything about this when they are under 18."

It's no wonder this kid won't work or go to school. Talk about your parental love. Is it safe to assume men have no instinct to nurture their children?