Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Meet Jeramey. Jeramey likes to steal my couch when I live blog for you. Jeramey is an enemy of Democracy.
"Jeremy" is also the enemy of my good sleep. I put Jeremy in quotes because that is the pseudonym my littlest brother uses in the hood. Cuz you really don't want anyone to know your name when you're doing business out there.
I should have also put "sleep" in quotes as a good nights rest on a couch is probably an oxymoron. A reader of mine wanted to be me for just one day. Believe me, one day would be enough.
You're probably thinking that if your life was exactly like the TV show 2 and Half Men your life would be pretty glamorous. I mean everything sounds glamorous when it is on TV. I live with my two brothers just like on TV.
Only I we don't live in a mansion. Neither of my brothers are rich. And the only chicks that stalk us aren't all that hot.
My middle brother is like the Charlie character and I guess that makes me kinda like the nerdy Alan. And that makes an almost 30 year old little brother a fat prepubescent kid.
Only you're not fat, Jeramey.
I told Jeramey that I was gonna write a book and he might be a character in it. He seemed excited at first. Like 60% of the population he believes his life story should be made into a book. But after thinking it over, he quickly became apprehensive.
"Can that Jeramey have all his teeth?"
Of course he can't. Who wants to read about a Jeramey with all his teeth? Pearl Jam did that all to death a while back. Nobody wants to read about a redneck Jeramey who steals his brothers "long" couch when he is out protecting Democracy.
They want to read about the toothless "Jeramey" who invents a second persona for his wacky adventures in the 'hood.
I know Jeramey you'd rather sleep on the floor than sleep on the love seat i.e. the short couch, but that doesn't give you the right to commanderie my lovely long-couch.
Even if it is 2 am and I still haven't moved my ass from the computer to the "bed."
Of course I really don't have to worry about either one of my brothers reading this, as both have told me they can't make it past 2 paragraphs down of any written word. Even if it involves one of them. Even if this is source material for the greatest novel in the world.