I am not suggesting that you have to replace your toy with any of my attached appendages. Though you probably guessed that last night when I jumped out of my seat shouting "What the fuck is that?" after you placed your foot on my crotch.
It's been a while. I am sorry I lost my head. You know it's been a while since I have encountered the the soothing touch of a female human.
I thought your foot was that little dog of yours that enjoys licking me so much. You know the one you trained by spreading peanut butter on your crotch.
Seriously, that dog likes people too much now. It's sorta creepy. From now on couldn't we just leave the dog locked up when I come over?