Friday, November 17, 2006

Free advertising

I know I tell you guys how I am nothing like that Drunken Stepfather guy. I've complained before about his constant berating of his audience in search of new hits for his stat counter. But the guy has a point. And I am not talking that nerdy point about how most of you are just lurkers and never post comments and shit like that.

What I am saying is what have you done for me lately? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing is what.

And I have been amusing you with anecdotes from work for over 2 years now, and keeping you up to date on the Robotic uprising, and the growing threat of Fascism. Let's not even mention all the Britney Spears news I throw at you guys. Or maybe you just found that picture of me on one of my blogs and started masturbating to it. I am sure you have spent plenty of spooge covered hours of fun jerking to that.

And for all that I give have you ever once passed on a link that you thought was funny? Sunday I had 6 unique visitors. That should be impossible for a blogist of my caliber. Even if this blog is down in the dumps at least my other blog Bathos is still kinda funny every once and while.

Linking to me is not enough, unless you are the DrugMonkey. DrugMonkey gives me like 80% of my traffic. But the rest of you slackers aren't bringing me up in the office around the water cooler. You aren't sending junk emails in my name out. You're not scribbling my web address in McDonald's bathrooms. What are you doing? Don't give me any shit about how you have a life, cuz then just why the hell do you keep coming back here?

If the only sales I make when my book comes out are to my 3 friends and my Mom, She is going to be really disappointed that she fronted me the money to self publish.


Jezebelsriot said...

So so true, but I am a total ingrate so go to hell! No, no, don't go to hell. But I still ain't puttin in no hard work so you can reach this abstract cyber quotient of blogger hits.

Romius T. said...

I've gotta tell you Jezebel that I live for your comments. I can't require you to do much either, as the only reason I have for living is hiting my e-mail button and hoping you've said something to me.

DrugMonkey said...

I'm not your friend, and I'll buy your book.

There, that's progress.

Jezebelsriot said...

You're doing better for me. I've yet to come up with a reason for living except habit. Which I guess is just as good.

Romius T. said...

Thanks Drug Monkey. But aren't you really rich? Buying my book is like buying a dunkin donut coffee with your muffin. Only you don't buy cheap coffee like that do you?

But seriously, I am gonna have to start on the book now.


You have one reason to live, buy my forthcoming book.

katie schwartz said...

romius, are you breaking up with us? you better fucking not be!

ps:: I got my menses this morning. totally thought of you.


Romius T. said...


you know you are the king of the world to me. By now you must realize that you can't take anything I say seriously.