Friday, December 15, 2006

Jeramey has an alter ego. Meet Cody.

"They took everything away from me. My cars, my house, my things. They even put my dogs down."

I think one of his eyes made contact with me. I wished his teeth hadn't. His black eye peas were spitting at me distracting me from watching another Rockets 4th quarter collapse.

Luther Head just fouled off the ball with under 2 minutes to play. I can't believe you can make that kind of bone-headed play and still call yourself a professional, Luther.

"I got 2 more days before I go back in. I'll be going in for 7 to 9 months."

Where is my brother? He's in the bathroom cleaning off the 3 gallons of puke from his shirt. Before Cody and Jeramey walked in with their puke stained jeans and shirts I got excited because Jenny walked in the house alone.

She was talkative. Flushed from drinking. When I got up to get myself a beer she kept talking to me. She seemed unusually interested in speaking to me. I think it was the first time that she intitiated a conversation with me.

I guess she was preparing me for the amount of puke I was going to see on Jeramey. She mentioned she once puked on her steering wheel while driving home. "Puked all over it." And kept driving. She's a trooper like that.
"Well that sucks for you."

I did my best to affect some sympathy in my voice. Then turned my head to address Cody.

"Why did they put your dogs down?" I hate to admit it, but I was curious why the cops put his dogs down.

"They put the dogs down because they tried to bite the cops when they came to arrest me."
"Well that makes sense." I reply.

Cody is not nearly as excited about the game as I am. Cody wants to discuss why his previous trip to prison lasted 18 days.

"Last time I was in I got 5 day. Then I hit a {expletive deleted} and got 5 more days. When they finally put me in the general population I saw the {expletive deleted again} and kicked his ass again. So I got 9 more days."

"So you don't mind going back to jail then?" I ask.

"Not at all. It don't bother me a bit. I've been to Juvenile for 3 years. I've been to jail lots in my life."

I am sure you have. But I have no intention of leaving with you when you're finally done cleaning the puke off and leave. I don't really want to get drunk with you. I think you're kinda scary. And I hang out in dive bars all the time. So I think I know why I am scared.

Go ahead and take Jenny with you. She'll drive off in her Mustang with her passed out boyfriend on the passenger side.

This post is dedicated to how effective Smush Parker can be in the second half and overtime.


Jezebelsriot said...

Rommy, I love when you're all sweet and sensitive and still manage to sound jerky and condescending.

Girls named Jenny are trouble.

Jezebelsriot said...

By the way, previous comment is not to be read with any sarcasm, there is true affection there between the pauses.

Romius T. said...

Thanks Jezzy. I actually didn't read any sarcasm into your first comment. That's how in touch we are!!