Saturday, January 17, 2009

I need you to stop talking, because I hate the words that come out of your mouths

I need people to stop telling me how they can't control their impulses. I get that shit a lot, about how I am more 'normal' than most of the people I know. I think that idea is full of shit.

I can agree that you have an edge. I just am tired of hearing how much you like to sit at home, and not got to work like you are some kind of rebel when you are really nothing more than a selfish bastard. I don't want to hear how much you like to drink either, and how you love to do drugs, because I don't know anyone who doesn't like drinking beer, shooting cocaine, and sitting around the house playing x-boy, or Wii, or Atari, or whatever the fuck it is that you kids do instead of organizing against the coming Fascism of Surveillance, or watching black and white Italian movies like we did back in my day.

All I am saying is that the reason I don't give in to my impulses is that they are dark and scary. My impulses are so creepy that they worry me.

I have fantasies of stabbing you in the mouth, of pulling the arm sockets out of innocent children while their mothers cry. I am not talking about fleeting moments where some kid is screaming at the mall or at a diner and I am selfishly pissed that all the noise they are creating is bothering me. I am talking about being curious what it would feel like to have the power of life and death over someone. Gaining for the first time a sense of mastery and control over the universe and my pathetic life.

What I need from you is for you to stop pretending that you have a dark side and that the universe should be thankful that you have not given in to it. Sitting around the house getting fat on Doritos brand French Onion Dip and offering to pay for my visits with transvestite prostitutes is just "alternative" fun for you, because you think of yourself as some kind of alternative hipster into "freaks" all because you have lost all the feeling in you cock from all the masturbating you do and now the only way you can orgasm is by watching something come to life that was directly out of one of your internet porn archives.

After that stops working let me know. Maybe you will move on to being the person who goes to the tranny shows, or masturbates to thoughts of your new "girlfriend" having an threesome with some girl you pick up on Craigslist that you accidentally strangle to death in some kind of auto erotic asphyxiation role playing game, and decided that now that she is dead you might as well know what it is like to stick your cock in something that does not move, because for the first time in your life you can actually realize what it was like to be your dad, and fuck that dead fish of a woman you call your Mom.

I guess what I am saying is that if you think you are hot shit try getting off on necrophilia, and then ask yourself if you can spend and hour and a half on Google trying to figure out escape routes from the local mall that you want to blow up. Try going down to the mall carrying a backpack full of knives and count all the security guards you walk past. See if that gets your heart to race. It probably will you fucking retard.

Then order some C4 explosive, a few machine guns and stash a motor bike in the alley a few yards away. Make sure you have a van parked a few miles from the alley by the mall that you can hide your bike and drive off in.

For the more advanced fuckers try to order up a stinger missile and shoot down a few passenger planes with the same idea. You stop by the airport and shoot a few of those puppies off and bike your way to a van that drives you to a safe house where you head off to Mexico.

That makes you a bad ass.

Drinking low class beer not make you cool and drinking that shit out of a paper bag is not ironic. It's just a waste of paper bags, and I thought you chicks dug the environment. I guess not. I guess you just have a different sensibility than most of us which makes you one of the cool kids instead of one of the masses.

You need to stop fooling yourself. You are not an individual. Stop dressing your kids like they are into alternative hip-hop post-hippie hipster shit like you, because they just aren't. They are 8 years old and they have no idea what they are giving up by getting piercings and tats at 13 and not watching Hanna Montana and being normal.

I know you hate normal, but if you were a freak you would understand how safe and happy normal is. But you aren't a freak. You are just a poser who is pissed off at society for valuing things like tits that are not floppy, and big penises, or large incomes, or other things that matter. I am sorry for you that society does not want to value your willingness to stretch a massively large gap in your ear just to show people that you are willing to fit in.

I guess I am glad you found a place where the "posers" and cast outs of society can pretend that fat people stretching out black pantyhose with holes them is a fashion statement and not some kind of grotesque side show for regular folks to gawk at.

I have an idea for a new game of Russian Roulette.

If you had any balls you would take all that antipathy you think you have for people and use it start some kind of revolution, or at least take a few of the regular folk down with you. You would feed off the death of people like a good Muslim soldier does, not get off on the clownish aspirations of fake vampire cults.

Stop injecting yourself with the blood that some little rich bitch you met at boarding school gave you. Go find yourself some AIDS infested fags to hang around with. Have them funnel you around in an umarked white van to all the homosexual "jack off" sex shops in the Valley. Then try to enjoy it when they make you swallow cum from some random bi-sexual dudes who's cum is mostly OK, but probably just a little bit infected with AIDS. Then you can wonder if you pulled the cocks out of your mouth in time before you swallowed what came inside you so that you can avoid getting AIDS.

I have no idea if that will work.

You just might get aids from bending down in your skirt and getting a bit of cum on your dress. We can assume whenever you wash that dress the cum will get all mixed around in the wash and the next time your boyfriend licks your panties and then kisses you, you will get a mouth full of AIDS.

I only bring up that last fat bitch because I let her suck my cock. I can tell you that she has fat chubby hands, and that she is not as greedy when she sucks my cock as your boyfriend is.

I wanted to follow that bitch home, because I figured she was into some freaky shit like fucking the dead hogs that are used in Hawaiian celebrations or something even freakier. But she pointed me out to the guys in the van and they sped off quickly, and I was not about to chase them down because I had been drinking and the last thing I need is another DUI.


Freida of the Bees said...

Dude- Now you're being super-duper surveilled.

If you didn't like the blowjob, you just had to say stop. Whiner.

(BTW- you just summarized the Southpark episode in which the goths get so frustrated that preppy kids started dressing like vampires feigning angst that they had to go back to shopping at The Gap to be different..., and then they got called geeks.)

Romius T. said...

Hey I meant to say that I liked the blowjob, maybe I never got around to that.

I never meant to take this blog post in the hipster direction but I guess it is so easy to insult them. I really meant to make fun of a friend who thinks he is all that because he has issues. I just meant to tell the world that unless you are a necrophilliac you are not that crazy. Just selfish.