Christmas comes early to Romius T. in the form of a phone number from a dude who wants to go 4 running and maybe rent some sea doo's

I got my first phone number in 4 years today. It was from some dude who wants to go 4x4 ing with me and maybe we will rent some Sea Doo's. The dude just left the number neatly typed on register receipt tape all non chalant like. Like it means nothing the way he always asks, "when are we going 4 running?"

I can't imagine this dude in a 4 runner or hiking boots.

I asked the dude if had a 4x4. He said no. I told him I had a 4x4. I lied. I don't have a 4x4. My truck is a 4x2 which means if we get stuck in the mud we could die. I hope not. Dying in the mud is not cool. Especially if we die before we make it to the Sea Doo's. My phone number giving dude says he knows a place near the grand canyon that rents Sea Doo's.

I think riding a Sea Doo is fun. So does my boss. She said so when she overheard us talking about our plans to go Sea Dooing. She said she likes Sea Doos, and I bet she was hoping one of us would ask her to go Sea Doing with us. But we didn't. I think we were holding out for Jackie. Jackie is the girl who fucks my boss's ex husband.

My boss hates Jackie. I wondered aloud if Jackie was hot. Well. What I actually said was, "Jackie is hot. You can't blame the ex for going for hottness."

The boss replied that Jackie was not hot. "Jackie looks just like me." She continues. "Only shorter."

"Midgets are hot!" I shot back at her. She didn't have a response to that. I guess she knows Midgets are hot too.

We haven't decided on how many Sea Doo's to rent. We may rent 2. It's always fun to drive by yourself, and that way you never have to share. Then again, it is fun to ride on the back of a Sea Doo. Though maybe not as much fun as stuffing an entire Nerf Football inside your asshole.