Thursday, December 18, 2008

Bloody Mexicans

I shat green for the 4th day in a row. I am getting sick. I ran a fever last night at work. I am stuffy headed and my nose is running a bit.

I am still going to work because I want to reinfect all my customers. I am sure I am sick because of one of them has gotten me ill.

Most of the customers at my store are from Mexico or some other Latin American country, and from every thing I have read on the internets you can get some crazy ass diseases from playing with chicken blood.

You may not know this but that Latino next to you in the cubicle goes home every night to chicken blood and Jesus candles, but because the whole thing just kinda creeps out white people Latinos keep that shit to themselves.

That is until they go to the supermarket, because every one knows that people from Third World countries never wash their hands, and that's because they've never heard of science. All they ever took from the white man was his crazy religion (even though most of the brown skinned people I know never completely gave up on their indigenous religion.) All they did was add saints and burning candles to rubbing chicken blood on themselves, and I guess that's where I get added to this equation, because Mexicans go through a lot of chicken blood if you go by how much chicken we sell to Latinos at my store.

I tell you it's a shit lot of chicken and just about none of the people buying chicken wash their hands. All they do is show up from after working digging ditches and hand me crumbled up 50 dollar bills, or blood stained 100 dollar bills. I have no idea where these damn immigrants are finding jobs where they get paid in cash, and paid in 50 dollar bills. All I know is I worked all week and all I earned was 239 dollars, and that was only because I tell Uncle Sam to kiss it and claim except, because I figure I should not have to pay taxes to the Federal Government, because it starts wars I don't believe in and it allows foreigners with all kinds of chicken blood related diseases to gain contact with me. And in my weakened AIDS related condition I can't fight off any of the exotic diseases they come over the border with.

This post is dedicated to Mexicans and all Latinos south of the border. Light a candle for me. It's the least you can do.


Superior Parrot said...

Well, as long as you're not racist . . .

KELSO'S NUTS said...


I like your sense of humor. Anyone who can't laugh at himself is an idiot.

Not living in Mexico I really can't offer an opinion. I know that they have a funny accent and say things like "huey" and "pinche pendejo" and "huevos rancheros."

South American people don't want to live in America because why leave a first-world country for a third-world country? I have no idea about any of this chicken blood thing. Every month or so I'll go to someone's house for Shabbat supper and once a year to the synagogue. But I'm really an atheist.

I know a few things about Americans: too loud, not clean, terrible manners, uneducated, and lame in every situation. I know I'll get out a swimming pool at a resort down here if I hear or see an American Christian because they really are not clean people. And they can poison a pool with their AIDS and hepatitis and herpes.

And why are Americans so fat? Don't you think it' funny that the two things about themselves that Americans are most proud of, their business and war abilities, they suck at?

Besides, you're working as a cashier boy. Trust me your job is safe. No Central American would want to do that job.

Romius T. said...

Did you just call me, boy? wow. just kiddin'

Hey, not all amercians are fat. Think about paris hilton or her former bff. She is skinny.

We are fat because we get trciked into eating food we don;t know much about like tacos, and high fructose corn syrup, and because all of us own cars, so we don't have to walk with a bag of potatoes on our heads.

Though the workout you guys get in pananma from walking around with a sack of goods on your heads makes for fantasy fodder for the middle aged christians who visit your land of vacations or missionary misiions.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

You got your ethnic stereotypes messed up. Potatoes are for Irish. Rice and beans are for Latinos. Alpo and Ritz crackers are for gringos.

Romius T. said...

That is way too easy for me...