Friday, September 12, 2008

My computer can't find the Internet and the power goes out at my store. I warn shoppers that I am just grabbing whatever comes near me.

My computer is sitting on the floor in my bedroom closet. Soon it will be gathering dust. It will sit in there underappreciated like all my forgotten short stories or like the archives of this blog. I think they serve no purpose other than to let foreigners find out the latest scoop on Kara Borden.

I tried hooking my computer up last night. At first I could not get the keyboard to work, but eventually I got the computer hooked up and running. Next I tried hooking up the cable modem to my computer. I know card shark has a wireless modem and I plugged the cable wire into it and plugged the modem into the back of my computer. My computer says I was hooked up the Internet, but I guess I don't know something about computers because Explorer could not find the Internet. All I know is that I kept getting a message that said Internet connection not found. I am not sure if I need to have Cox come out and set things up or if only his computer is set up to run on his LAN line. I threw all that jargon out like I know what I am talking about. I don't. All I know is I don't have Internet.

My only other option would be to buy a wireless card to see if I can steal the Internet from some sucker nearby. I know a few of the houses have been stealing the Internet from Card Shark's computer so it would only be fair. Maybe the wireless modem does not hook up to a regular desk top. Maybe the wireless card will let me hook up to the wireless modem. As you can see I am monkey sitting in the dark on theses kind of things. I need to marry a computer wiz kid girl.

I dated one once. Jenn would have been able to help me this problem. Also she was bi-sexual so she was always into getting a threesome. I never got one with her even though we dated for a few months. Bi-sexual chicks are like that with me. All talk and no action.

The one time she did have some action she hooked up with a girl on the internet and wanted me to drive her half way around town to meet her. I had a job at the Self Help Center and Law Library at the time and had to wake up in a few hours at 6:30 in the morning. I told her no, some other time. She threw a fit and got pissy with me, but she did not have a car.

I went to bed and that is when she turned her attention to my roommate. She buttered up the FRO with talk of lesbian sex. She left with FRO to her friends house while I was sleeping in my room. FRO is a sucker for lesbians and I think he got to watch her make out for a while. They took off to the other girl's bedroom and got down to the nasty without him which disappointed him to no end. At least he did not get the threesome I had worked so hard to set up.

I woke up that morning to go to work and found that Jenn was gone. I looked over at the computer and it still had her instant message up about leaving with the FRO and meeting her friend. In the message she talked quite a bit of trash about me and mentioned something about being so angry with me she wanted to hit me in the head with a bat while I slept. If you need Jenn you would know that was no idle threat.

Because of the e-message I broke up with Jenn when I got home from work. I told FRO he could take her home, "I was going to work." When I got home FRO was nowhere to be found but a messy faced, crying Jenn was. I drove her home in silence and dropped her off. We spoke in e-mail once or twice, but that was about the last I heard of her.

I think I digressed into one of my Lesbians have sex with each other but not me stories. I have plenty if you want more. But I guess I should talk to you about the power going out at my store.

The power went out at my store. It was chaos. The registers crashed in the middle of several orders. Whenever the back up generators cut on they crashed the remaining registers. Eventually we got everybody out of the store and were sent to work placing plastic wrap around the deli case, meat and dairy aisles. I have no idea if all our hard work helped. But an hour into the process the power finally jumped back on and we had to take it all down.

A few workers wondered if we were going to close the store for the night. I just laughed and told them that for Americans, they did not have a very good grasp of Capitalism.

It was busy the rest of the night and I had to bag groceries myself.

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