Saturday, September 06, 2008

I catch Asthma from work. I almost don't get paid this week.

It feels like I swallowed play dough into my chest. I think the bronchitis I caught at work has turned into asthma. Sometimes while speaking I have to cough a bit and I can't get any air to form words. I know I don't really have asthma, I just need to go to the doctor and get some anti-biotics to finish off what my lackadaisical immune system seems to be unable to finish off on its own.

Some people get sick or the flu. I get asthma. Also because I have been eating fast food again I need to report to you that the weak shitting is back. My bowel movements have been very unfirm, pasty yellow, and squirty. They have been that way for a few days or a couple of weeks I can't remember.

I still smell cancer in the hallways and my room from the carpets. Most of the paint smell is gone and by gone I mean has been absorbed into my lungs where it probably gave me asthma.

It was horrible busy at work yesterday. I did three work sheets of money orders. On slow days I might do half a sheet. We were so busy that we had all 4 mangers at check stands helping out customers so I had no help with my line that stretched out of customer service and into the main floor. None of the customers complained but I felt their heavy stares at my back whenever I turned around to type in a Western Union. I did 12 Western Unions and if each one takes 5 minutes or so you can see I spent at least an hour typing with my back to an angry and impatient crowd. I think you can imagine my anxiety about having my back turned for so long. I just know one day one of you impatient little buggers is not going to be able to take it anymore and jump up at me while I am typing away and stab me in the back. When that happens all I want you to know is that I have "super" fighting skills that rarely come out but they will if you stab me and I can't be held responsible for what happens to you next. I think a good head slam to the desk at least.

I am OK dealing with all the weirdo customers I get at the customer service desk. But yesterday I had to deal with a lot of my fellow workers who were quite angry that our checks had not come in at their normal time. By 4 pm I had taken a few dozen calls from angry baggers and mop hands asking, "when they were going to get their money?" All I could tell them was that the checks were not here and I had no idea where they were or when they were coming.

It turns out that the checks got delivered to another store by mistake. We found this out not thorough the quick action of our esteemed manager, but because several employees on their own called corporate and tracked down our payroll. Our manager said some something dismissive about not having the time to track them down herself. I guess when you drive three different Cadillacs to work you don't worry to much about one missing paycheck. But as part time workers who get paid a few cents over minimum wage, most of us live paycheck to paycheck. A few workers were actually stranded at work as they did not have enough money for gas to go home and then come back later whenever the checks got it. Finally around 6pm the checks came in and a lot of workers were happy. Some of them missed deadlines for rent and other bills so they will have to eat a few late fees. Our checks were already a day later than usual because of the holiday (which we all worked but corporate does not so they send the checks out a day late.)

I can't help but guffaw at the irony of corporate fat cats taking labor day off and then fucking up the actual worker paychecks after forcing labor to labor on labor day-but that is because I am closet Marxist like Barack Obama and if you did not know Barack Obama was a closet Marxist then you obviously don't get the forwarded e-mails from my Mom that link to this webpage from Investor's Business Daily (according to the e-mail's author you can't dismiss this smear against Obama because "it's from Investors Business Daily, not some right wing publication* or McCain's political camp, and it is a very revealing view of Democrat presidential candidate, Obama.")

All I know is that the e-mail starts out with this bit of unbeatable logic "this is just my opinion and we all got opinions and if you don't like my opinion then delete this e-mail, don't send me your opinion about it."

So the author is fine with labeling all events in the world as simply events that get to be interpreted and because of the importance she places on opinions she feels compelled to share hers with me, but she does not want to hear my "interpretation" of her opinion. Well. You can't fault her logic on that one.

I would like to go off on a riff on the problem with the "logic" most Americans have. But I don't really have a lot of time left today, just seven minutes. All I know is that Sarah Palin has an unwed under age daughter and that daughter is pregnant which I guess proves the case that abstinence only programs really work, ...but that's just my opinion.


I would like to point out that the author of the e-mails was not my mother in case I did not make that clear. I don't know if my mother even reads the e-mails she has been forwarding to me lately. I have to hope she does not as that would make me wonder how much genetics has a role in determining the political attitudes of humans. Even though I am Marxist, I take quite seriously the role that non-environmental factors play in behavior and personality.

*According to Investor's Daily (a non right wing sounding publication if I ever heard one) only a Marxist can think that a living wage of 10 dollars an hour is a good idea, along with say "fair trade" and "fair labor practices," with breaks for "patriot employers" who cow-tow to unions, and sticks for "nonpatriot" companies that don't." Gosh, I hope we don't start giving tax breaks to companies that provide good jobs to Americans and continue with the right wing approach of giving away our shared wealth to individuals and companies that export jobs overseas.

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