Friday, September 05, 2008

All I want to talk about is Sarah Palin and her under age teen daughter

If you are a lot like me then you spend all your free time on the Internet doing research because you don't want to be accused of not knowing what you are talking about. Also I find that researching my favorite topic of jail bait under cover of some kind of scientific rationale to be the best way to present myself to my ever expanding public.

I just read that the "number of girls marrying before age 18 expected to double in next decade." Which I guess means that once again I am ahead of a trend before it explodes into the world consciousness. 100 million child bride grooms can't be wrong. Long time readers know that I have several "spirit wives" so I can speak from a place of authority in regards to Sarah Palin's unwed pregnant daughter and her shotgun wedding.

My first reaction to the shotgun wedding being imposed by Mommie and Daddy Palin is that I would have been a poor choice as husband for this child bride. According to reports her boyfriend is a "f#cking redneck" and hates babies. I am not a redneck even though I am originally from Texas. And I don't hate children, I marry them is secret religious ceremonies that include being bound in sheer white clothing in a swimming pool. I like to know what I am getting right away.

An unwatchful Mother allows her slutty daughter to paint her toe and fingernails. I am sure this child is on her way to unwed motherville courtesy of Maybelline.

Speaking of child brides, Leslie, my number 1 spirit wife is being promoted to cashier which means that all my authority over is her is gone. It also means that despite not graduating from high school and being in the labor market for 20 years less than me she now earns only 40 cents an hour less than me. So much for me feeling sorry for child brides. They earn money and exhibit the secondary sexual characteristics that nature has deemed necessary for child birth. If they lack some kind of emotional stability or maturity ostensibly present in older females they make up for it by bonding to their spirit husbands like a duckling in a critical learning moment deciding that fluff the poodle is going to be his mamma.

All I know is I found a few awesome photos of Sarah Palin's daughter's mom and she looks likes she loves America!


Anonymous said...

I'm digging the dead animals hanging on the wall behind them.

And I'm wondering when that top pic was taken? Was it Palin's 6th or 7th month of pregnancy? Most non-pregnant women I know have stomachs that flat. Yowz. She defies physics.

Romius T. said...


Anonymous said...

Hello, this is "leslie" Awwwww! you wrote about me! i feel very special. Am i still your numero uno spirit wife? or are those only labels for baggers cuz i guess you can replace me with david if you want..