Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I need to get used to the idea that the whole world loves me and by the "world" I mean a bunch of cyber stalking pedophiles

I guess I should apologize. The world loves me and I have a ton of readers. I know the whole world loves me because a creepy 54 year old left me a comment on my blog telling me that I am "much more popular than I think" because he estimates that I have like 50 to 100 readers. I don't know how he knows so much about my readers, but if you head over to his Geocities website (which looks like it was designed by a 13 year old girl) you will notice that he uses an RSS feed to funnel my blog's content to his "massive" readership. Which (sadly) is larger than mine because I have had at least 5 redirects from his website to mine this week. I know when I redirect my readers to another blog that blog is lucky if one person clicks on the link.

I don't know if I am as beloved by the public as I am told but either way I guess I am a magnet for pedophiles because the guy sitting next to me at the public library computer terminal is looking at porn. He is also overly interested in my online bill pay for my truck insurance. At first I thought he was in the industry and wanted to sell me a quote, but it turns out he is just gay and 50 year old gay men think I am hot. So if this whole never getting a girlfriend thing keeps happening to me at least I know I can run for president of the gay pedophiles or something as gray haired old gay men want to fuck me.

I guess that is why they lean over and wink at me and talk to me in hushed tones about the non-importance of certain policy provisions for car insurance and then they don't blink when I notice the picture of the huge cock they have up on their second window tab of explorer. I guess pedophiles love the giant cock on their adult lovers as much as they like hairless inchworms on their rape victims.

I know what you are going to say," Aren't you a pedophile because you love jail bait?" Sure, I love jail bait, but the jail bait I love is all female and over the age of consent in Georgia which is were I would move to if I really only liked jail bait, but the sad truth of it is that I can get off some on older women too. And if you knew anything about pedophiles you would know I don't have the same kind of sick fetish that those 54 year old gay men do. I like women of breeding age. If you are menstruating and exhibit the secondary sexual characteristics that are part of god's plan to alert the human male to the possibility that a girl has become biologically "a women" then I can fall in love with you. Or at least I can become sexually aroused by your body. But if in fact you are below the legal age then I can keep it all to myself. I don't need to statutorily rape you. I mean I can live with the fantasy and by fantasy I don't mean I need to sit across from junior high schools masturbating in my car so I can cum on my steering wheel whenever I watch pre-teens bend over to pick up their school books.

You might call me perverted but accidentally meeting perverts at the library is disturbing. When I go to the public library I don't need to look at porn because it kinda creeps me out to look at porn in public. Probably because I do not have a high tolerance for shame. I guess that is why I hide myself at home instead of hitting the bars and looking for women. I don't need your judgement telling me how hideous I am. I will just sit at home and masturbate and then ejaculate myself into Dixie cups so I don't mess the new carpet.

I am such a good boy.

*I lost this post and so I have tried to reconstrcut it from memory. All I can say is that maybe you can see what I was going for and that is the only reason I went ahead and posted it.

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