Wednesday, September 03, 2008

I get carpet and skylights. I go to the DMV. I have worked 11 straight days, so my eyes are blurry.

The carpet guys came today to install the carpet today at 8am. I got a text message last night at 11:37 from Card Shark telling me that the carpet installers would be coming by early in the morning, and I needed to pack up my belongings again, so that I could move them out of the room I am staying in, so it could be carpeted. I also got a text message that asked me to not wear shoes on the carpet. It was signed "one pussy whooped homeboy." I wrote him back and told him he was a ball less homo and he agreed.

I should say "Hi" to my newest reader, Mrs. Card Shark. I would normally hold Mrs. Shark to the same degree of snark and insults that I give to all my fans, friends, and enemies. But I am deathly scared of Mrs. Card Shark. Something about her going clubbing baby seals as a vacation idea made me think that is a chick you should not mess with. So I won't. Also, I promise to make the Mexicans take off their shoes while they are in the house even though that will just make the house smell like tacos.

I know some of my readers don't like it when I make fun of Mexicans, but I only make fun of Mexicans because I know for a fact that Mexicans eat raw the blood of javelinas and enjoy feasting on the flesh of white babies. I myself do not condone the eating of little white babies (excepting for down syndrome children.)* I know white babies are quite tasty. I've tried a few bites myself, but I don't eat them regular like you Mexicans do and like a certain reader and linkee of mine.

We have skylights in the house.

I still have not found the fro. I dropped by his house and the note I left was gone, but there is no sign of the Fro. I can't find his parents phone number, so I will have to make a trip back to the ghetto again to see them.
I went to the DMV yesterday. I needed to get my truck to pass emissions and pay for this years registration fee. My tags expired on the 31st of last month, so I drove all the way to Chandler worrying that I was going to be stopped b the police and arrested and forced to sit in a stall with smelly Mexicans. Luckily that did not happen. I got lost of course and sat for an hour in the out of state inspection booth before being told I needed to go to the in-state inspection booth.

Once I got to the right inspection center I moved quickly to the front of the line. I had no idea my luck for the day was over though. The computer that they use to test emissions crashed while it was hooked up to me. It had to be rebooted six or seven times. I was in a panic attack already as I was worried that the truck might not pass inspection. The truck has a bit of a rough idle and seems to cough or spit sometimes. I think the battery cable comes undone or something because I can sometimes hear a clicking noise. At other times the car jumps for no good reason.

Once in motion the car drives well, though right after it's started it is a bit sluggish like the fuel pump is blocked or something. Before Card Shark sold me the truck it sat for a few months without being started, so the gas may have gone bad and possibly that damaged something. I know the wait forced us to get a new battery, and I think you all remember what a mantastic story that was. (If not click on the I am mantastic link below.)

Luckily the truck passed inspection. I get around the rough idling by keeping the truck full of gas and by using the highest octane gas available. It seems to run better without all the knocking when it has a full tank and high octane. I've even gone and used a few octane boosters despite my belief in their efficacy.

I need to remind the Card Shark that we need to buy a vacuum cleaner. Maybe the Misses can do that for me.

The Internet Girl Friend would have been very happy to see all the changes taking place at the house. I no longer live in a home that has not been vacuumed in 4 years. Sure there is the faint smell of cancer one gets from the new installation of carpet. The ubiquitous smell of paint fumes which I doubt I will ever stop smelling as I think some of the paint has lodged in my gonads or my esophagus somehow. But Card Shard does have skylights. And if I know anything about chicks, it's that they dig skylights.

*this is my attempt at topical humor. hello vp palin. abortion good. retard bad.**

**fracking blogger erased half this post and I am out of time. Also the mexican baby eating joke was actually funny in my head at breakfast and before blogger fucked up.


formerly known as internet g/f said...

very happy to hear that you are on to cleaner carpets - definitely.

although the prospect of your impending homelessness doesn't sound that great.

i noticed that you spend alot more time chit-chatting flirtatiously with HER. i never gave you permission to engage HER! that command was ETERNAL, dammit!

ha ha ha i am funny.

Romius T. said...

"formerly known as the internet g/f" We should get you a symbol or something, I think that would be cool.

Also I am pretty sure that your commands are non-binding after a certain point.

I also flirt with a hot asian pharmacy tech online. I am such a slut.

You are funny though.

I hope everything is going well for you.

a symbol said...

you are shameless. HER and an asian? is she a ninja? i like to ask racist questions.

everything is okay. could be better, could be worse. you know how that goes.

thanks though!

Romius T. said...

dear symbol or the person formely known as the IGF:

I hope she is not a ninja as I am scared of ninjas, also I hate them.

I am glad you are doing at least ok. I hope you stay in touch. I enjoy talking to you.