Saturday, November 29, 2008

Today is my birthday

I turn 38 today. I am going to grow up this year. I won't fantasize about the teen daughters of the middle aged woman I date this year.

At a certain age it starts to get creepy talking about girls who are young enough to be your daughter. I think 40 is that age, and I am fast approaching the big 4 - 0. At 40 if you think Miley Cyrus is hot you need to keep that shit to yourself. You ought not bring it up in public. Which means a lot of 40 year old men try to hidetheir lusting for all thing Vanessa and Miley, and in a way that just makes things worse out there for the average hebophile.

What I mean by that is I have discovered that being a sexual offender/deviant is not nearly as devasting to your social status as the militant feminists and over protective parents would have you believe.

At work it is common knowledge that I heart jail bait. In fact most of the girls I work with make sure to point out to me whenever they see a cute girl who is possibly jail bait just to find out if I "would go there or not."

Usually I would. But I tell them I am unsure because it is better to be safe than sorry.

My coworkers make a point of finding me all the stuff in the store that is related to Miley Cyrus. I guess they feel my obsession with her is cute. One 17 year old coworker of mine found a picture in a magazine of Miley and thought I would like it. She gave it to me and I taped it to my locker. I never suffered any consequences for the picture like hate crimes or mobs attacking me with lit torches.

In a way I think I am like Martin Luther King. I practice non-violence civil rights campaigns on behalf of my fellow hebophiles. I hope my blog and my openness leads to the same civil rights movement that blacks, Latinos, and Gay peoples have historically fought for.

If America lost some of its Puritanical ways and stopped persecuting hebeophiles the whole country would be better off. There would be a lot less rape-murder of children. I am sure there would be an increase in rape. But less rape with murder. Sexual predators often have to murder the child because the activities they enjoy are illegal. Taking care of any potential witness is just being criminally tidy. I think most of the child rapists out there hate having to murder. If America had the open standards of the Netherlands Jon Benet would still be alive today and she would have her own Reality TV series. At the very least she would have posed for playboy by the age of 16.

I guess what I am saying is that all the talk about needing sex offender register laws is wasteful. In fact society already implicitly endorses my ideas. That's why women who have sex with teen boys never get forced to register as a sex offenders. According to society Female teacher boy student sex is just hot. That's why female teachers get a slap on the wrist. If more hebophiles were like me and showed the world that their interest in teens was harmless and sweet we would all live in a better world.

But I have done my part. For the last 37 years I have stood tall. Never wavering. But at last like the red bracelet wearers from Logan's Run my time has come. I will have to restrict my desires to the harmless exercise of watching too much Disney TV.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Happy birthday.

Romius T. said...

Thanks DOc@@

DCup said...

Happy Birthday, Romius T!

You have a couple of years left for the wild stuff and then it's cardigan sweater and loafer city, baby!

new marvel said...

Cardigans can be cute :)

Happy Birthday! (I figured I should say it on the birthday post)

KELSO'S NUTS said...


KELSO'S NUTS said...

...on the other hand, I think my tribe in Big Sammy has gone too soft living in the suburbs, now.

We take a very, very dim view of "short eyes" where I come from. When I was a kid about the worst mistake any adult could make was messing around with a Jewish child. And with regard to abuse of the pre-prepubescent? Well...I'm not telling any tales out of schoo but tt never used to get to an issue of the cops or the system or the law or the constitution or NAMBLA's "rights" or anybody's "rights".

The extended family gets together and has a discussion in the old language in hushed tones and decides the who, the what, the when, the where, the how, the how much, and the how-bad. And it's done. And if there are any repercussions those responsible are dealt with old country style.

The children get love and support and therapy.

These suburban nouveau riche kikes don't know how to take care of their families or their shit. They've become some other version of Big Sammy White.


KELSO'S NUTS said...

You're safe though Romius T. I don't care about anyone's weirdness, so long as it doesn't encourage the exploitation and violation of any children.

Your freakiness I rate as well within the boundaries of normal. Maybe even "exceptional" or "exemplary"!

I don't need a Megan's Law. Just knowing that the powers that be in that big country up there don't speak Ladino or street Russian used to be more than enough.

Everybody in the neighborhood might have been a little more trusting of the institution if there had been one person named "Goldstein" and one person named "Girazules" signed in at the bottom of the Declaration of Independence.

mr. t said...

happy birthday. you rock!

Romius T. said...

thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday. I am just recovering from all the drunnkiness

I am glad that Kelso is not sending a fatwa against me!

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Doesn't work like that. No fatwas. Just disfigurement which creeps in like the fog on little cat feet.

Romius T. said...

good not fatwas, I can live with disfigurement. might make me look interesting.