Monday, November 03, 2008

I suck at saving the videos I take on Halloween

With my last post I promised to get drunk and go to the Halloween parade in Tempe. I took the bus to Mill Ave. just around midnight. The scene there was bedlam. I recommend going to the Halloween parade on Mill if you can.

The parade featured tons of crazies, hundreds of drunks, and of course girls in slutty outfits.

I promised you I would take videos and pictures of the scene. I did, or at least I thought I did. I guess it turns out that I don't quite know how to use my phone as well as I thought I did. I ended up with just one video of a dancing guy with his shirt off, and a few poorly lit shots of scenery with no actual people in costumes. That's because I tried taking my pictures from the balcony at Hooter's after drinking a large beer or two.

I like photography and like every girl in the 8th grade I thought I could grow up to be a a professional photographer. I regret to inform you that is never going to happen. I'd like to blame the poor picture quality and all the videos I forgot to save on the fact that I was drunk, but I think we all know that most photographers wake up drunk, and take their best photos high on the cocaine they steal from the half-naked models they shoot.

I guess I will have to limit my dreams photographic artistry to that of becoming a director, because directors can always hire a cinematographer (and when you learn that directors aren't usually cinematographers you have to ask yourself just what the hell is it that a director does?)

Either way I did not include the Halloween pics I took in this post because that would require me to picture text my e-mail address, and then save the pics from the e-mail to my computer before I could even consider posting them on the blog, and that sounds like a lot of work just to show off a bunch of badly taken photographs that you would probably just laugh at, and wonder what all the fuss was over this whole Tempe Halloween Parade.

I could describe to you some of the vids and pics you missed.



There is the video of the two girls walking past me and whispering to one another, "what is that guy doing?" While pointing at me and covering themselves up. Like it wasn't obvious that I was just standing in the only well lit part of Mill with my camera open and recording slutty girls as they walked by.

I'm kinda glad I did not save that video as I was actually a bit embarrassed by what I was doing at the time, because I wasn't drunk enough to shrug off the comment and make a witty retort.

You also missed me getting permission to record the girl dressed as Snow White. The girl dressed as Snow White went around asking for donations of a dollar if you wanted to get a photograph with her. Since I asked her for a video clip, and I told her I was going to post it on my blog, I offered her two dollars as a donation. She gladly accepted.

In the video I never got around to asking her the questions I wanted her to answer like, "why she was out here asking for money." I decided that she needed the donations to pay for the costume. I also wanted to know how much she money she had collected. I know for a fact that just standing around that night she made more money than than I will ever make off this blog and all she did was walk around and look sorta cute holding an apple that said "$1 for pictures."

Maybe I should do that with my camera. I could send 30 second videos to all my fans where I wish them or their brethren a happy day or wonderful wedding. Though I would suggest you ask me to send video text messages of me making fun of the people you know- like those that have recently lost their jobs, or the fag who just got dumped by his girl friend.

I've had other money making ideas like my greeting card business. Some of my lucky co-workers and friends have had the good fortune of receiving my personalized Christmas or Valentine's Day cards. They can tell you they first saw my genius in those cards.

I bring up all those money making ideas because I am looking for a new job. Well I am not looking yet, but I have officially run of patience with my current job.

I was in a funk all day because all I could think was how much I hated my job, and how much hated my life, and how all I wanted to do today was stay home and watch the Dallas Cowboys on TV and drink coke and eat burgers from Sonic, because I like the way Sonic pairs their burgers with delicious sides like Tater Tots.

I was depressed before I even got out of bed today, but it did not help that right after waking up I read a long article on the suicide of David Foster Wallace. After reading the article I got to thinking that nothing really mattered because like David Foster Wallace said, "the disease of depression is really us."

He also talked about how suicides have already killed themselves before the final act and that at the end they are really just being tidy with their bodies.

That got me thinking a lot about cowardice.

They say that a coward dies a thousand tiny deaths and I suppose by now you all know what a coward I am. They say that a dying a cowards death is supposed to be way worse than dying with courage, or dying with at least with something approaching dignity. I would have no idea about that.

All I know is that when I signed up for being a coward I had no idea that I would have to endure the knowledge that I was a coward. I guess that is what the whole 1,000 deaths thing is supposed to illustrate, but I wasn't paying attention. I stopped paying attention to the world as soon as I figured out that I was not some kind of grand character in the struggle for world history.

Even though I am depressed, I did not call in sick. I was tempted though. I was so tempted to stay home that I waited to leave for work until I had only 15 minutes to get to work.

I still got to work on time so I don't think anyone noticed how miserable I was until people started to ask me how I was and I told them I was miserable and hated my life and my job and that basically there was nothing worth living for except surfing the web and burying myself away from all the responsibilities that a decent person should have.

Of course if we were to be decent folk we would all have to be Gandhi, and I am sure none of have the stomachs for that so for the most part people just do what they can. They drop their spare change in the March of Dimes buckets and wander around the suburbs with Obama stickers on their S.U.V.'s.

I used to think those people suffered from false consciousness or at least figured they were victims of capitalism in the sense that their lives were inauthentic (or jeez I can't remember what Fromm said about that but hey it is 4:08 in the morning and I just worked a 9 hour shift, ok a 3:30 to midnight shift is not 9 hours, but you get the point--- I can't think straight right now.

The whole point being that I no longer think those people are any different than me. I am them, and they are me.

Only, I actually think the "starving children" in Sub Saharan Africa are actually dying from starvation and that their swollen bellies really are a signs of severe starvation and being on the brink of death, unlike some of the people I work with who are convinced that all non-profits steal your money and pocket the money that happily fed children in Africa and Asia just don't need because that person used to be in the business of calling strangers to get them to donate money to charities in a previous career.

I'm not certain why that person left the high paying field of the Charitable con game in order to cook raw chicken over a rotisserie for you, but the fact that the man refuses to wash his hands or clothes means you should take him at his word, or at least stop eating the chicken.

While I am at it I should say that from here on forward I promise to stop calling Mr. Fawkes a bastard. Unless he deserves it.

I wan't to mention that telling all your friends and co-workers about your blog can backfire when they demand new blog posts from you every day, even though I write this shit for free, and I have over 1,000 posts just like this in the archives that they could be reading, so you can all stop trying to make me feel guilty and go read the archives, because if there is anything you need to know about my life is that it is exactly the same as it was 10 years ago.

10 comments:

KELSO'S NUTS said...

ROMIUS: You know I hear you. I'll tell you a couple of things I learned about fear that have helped a lot.

A psychiatrist told me that he felt his job as a medical doctor was to get someone with a REAL pathology to the point that he or she was MERELY NEUROTIC.

"Being neurotic," he said, is "a variant of normal...for functional neurotic patients such as yourself, my job is help you discover your unique stressors which can lead to temporary treatable pathologies like anxiety attacks or depression so you can sometimes separate fears borne of neuroses from actual life trauma...

...And I also believe strongly in medication and find the American anti-drug culture to cause more damage than cocaine or heroin ever could." A WISE MAN INDEED.

During the course of my psychotherapy, I came to realize that I was pretty neurotic but that's all I was and that I was afraid of pretty much everything. It was an easy step from there to recognize and accept that if I'm going to be afraid of everything, it's just as easy and a lot calmer to be afraid of nothing. So, that's how I deal with it.

As for your photography problem, I'm kind of lazy in that department. When my son is living with me I take a lot of pictures. That's it.

Your desire for women, we've discussed and I believe I've given you some very good advice because I am a dog.

Now, on to the most significant problem: your state of unemployment. You make actually be in a better position than you think you are. I doubt too much hiring is going to be happening in the states for a while and even temp jobs are going to be tough to get.

You have some aptitude for something that can pay you way better than any job although you'll work way harder at it than you ever have at any job you've ever had.

I'm talking about poker. If it were me as you, I'd talk to the Card Shark about a deal. CAVEAT: I don't even know how old you are. Granted that the cash, tournament and online pros I know are pretty high up there, I may have a distorted point of view. I do think, however, a recession is a good time to be in a recession-proof business.

If you can multi-table and can play games other than NLHE or L-HE, you are in a good position to grind out a decent living in small games on a big trustworthy site which still takes American customers like FULL TILT. PARTY doesn't take Americans anymore and I've heard enough weird stories about STARS and ULTIMATE to be wary. I understand BODOG takes Americans and has a lot of small games but I don't know enough about the site to say whether or not it's trustworthy.

I'm not going to back you but if you are interested in hearing or reading more specific thoughts on the subject, you can get my email address from the JEWGIRL.

Fawkes said...

Dude, damn right I demanded a new blog. I relied on you to have these 'oh so great' pictures of chicks in slutty outfits. But of course you didn't, although I decided to finish reading even after I saw you didn't have any.

Your archives don't interest me at all, takes too long to find one that is actually worthwhile.

Now, as for that new cashier. We all know that each one of us wouldn't mind getting a piece of that ass xD. Unfortunately, I'll have to agree with you when you said that you probably can't even get someone that good. Call me a bastard if you must, but you did say it yourself.

P.s. I expect more blogging. Yes you do "write this shit for free" but u already got me addicted to checking this site out at least every other day.

Romius T. said...

Mr. Fawkes

I have added a video I took of the night. I looked through the pics and there is only one decent one. I will add it to the next blog post.

If you are seeking new material I advise you to look over at my bathos site as I just added a new blog post today about fat chicks.


In addition I advice you to read my post at bathos about why fat chicks love sex so much. Very much needed information at your age.

Kelso,

I amy have confuses you, hut i am not unemployed, just underemployed as I don;t really earn a lot of money at the job I have.

As to whether I could make it as a pro, card shark and I gave it a whack a couple of years ago and we did not do so well.

I don't know if I have enough interest in poker to really grind out the amount of time I would have to make a living at it.

My age is 37 by the way.

As to your take on pyschology, I could not agree more. I am just nuerotic and melancholic. I don;t self medicate, I take the tuff it out approach. I find that the consequences of drinking and the side effects of medication are just not worth the benefits.

Hopefully blogging will enable me to remain sane.

lucky charms said...

OMG I almost forgot about the one woman I saw while waiting in line to enter the bar on friday. So this one woman was dressed as a burlesque dancer I assume, because only half of her ginormous titties was covered, but it's not like she had nice perky ones.. they were big nasty flappy ones with nasty gaping cleavage. Her yucky butt was hanging out, as well, and she wore fishnets that looked like they squeezed a little too much.. And she lived nextdoor to the bar.... and was posing for pictures.

She was barf-worthy.


You'd be very proud to know I scored a free drink today without even casting any charm spells! And I wasn't in costume either. I just smiled and the guy was like, "Here's your mountain dew" haha

Mr. T said...

LUCKY CHARMS IS THE MOST ANNOYING BLOG-COMMENTER ON THE FACE OF GOD'S GREEN EARTH!!!!

SHUT-UP!!! SHUT-UP!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE SHUT-UP!!!!!

(i'm sorry, romius, i couldn't hold back any longer. it's just too much sometimes)

In closing, everyone please vote.

lucky charms said...

Mr. Togepi,

Relax. Please.

I told Romius last week that I'd be taking a break from blogs and the like for a while. I have midterms and other things to take care of. I just love halloween and Romius and I have a mutual admiration for college town bars. But I'm done for now.

You made Romius uncomfortable enough last time, and I don't want to force him to be a mediator again. Just relax before you give yourself a heart attack.

Goodbye Romius. Take care of yourself, ok?

You see this, Mr. T? This is called taking the high road. Try it some time. Anger is exhausting.

Romius T. said...

Mr. T

can't you simply hold it in sir? nothng requires you to read her comments. And you must know that the only person allowed to make fun of my readers is me. That is the whole thing about this blog. I make fun of you guys and you still read me, cuz you don't have lives and stuff.

lets keep it clean. we are all one big family around here, which just means lucky is like your sister and if you had played it right she could have been something like one of my step sisters which I can tell you would have been nice.

Mr. T said...

In honor of Obama's big, awesome win last night, I will keep my comments to LC short-and-sweet (and as positive as I can, all considering):

Can the break from blogs... be a permanent one?

Hope that "high road" is one way!

lucky charms said...

I know that you realize that I'm aware of who you are, Mr. T.

You've been trying to do this for months, and I'm done caring. You need to grow up and realize that these are BLOGS. There's a real world out there, and you need to stop wasting your time obsessing over who's winning this stupid flame war.

It's not worth it.

I know you're keeping tally so go ahead and give yourself another point. I'm going to move on and you'll still be sitting at your computer.

I know I've done my share of wrongs, but at least I can walk away with my head held high. You're the one picking on someone on the internet because you got snubbed... on the internet.

Go ahead and reap your rewards. Take the entire blog world away. The high road IS one way, and I'm not looking back.

Romius, you're a very good man. Thanks for everything.

Mr. T said...

LC, you're so special!

That was the best darned "farewell cruel world" speech I've EVER HEARD.

1. You are also kinda like Cher. Declaring retirement and then coming back - again and again and again.

2. Doing this for months? No, just recently. You've seemed to confuse me with one of your other haters.

3. There's a real world out there? DO TELL. You don't seem to spend much time in it...

4. You are killing by Obama-buzz! But I can't resist responding to your little rants, it's just too much fun.

Please go away! No, don't. Yes, DO. No no, don't. I can't make up my mind.