Saturday, November 15, 2008

I get panic attacks

I had to leave my wife because she could not live with my panic attacks. Like the panic attack I am having about having throat cancer right now. she never worried with me. she always told me that my worries were "nothing" and that I was ok and I did not need to go the doctor and even when I bleed and need 9 stitches* she had more important things to do than wait around the emergency room with me, like laundry

*Every time I have ever needed stitches i have needed 9 stitches. weird, huh?

I always know when I am having a panic attack. When I am panicking any noise I hear:

revs me up/bothers me/aggravates me/startles me/panics me/disorients me.

I feel something at the bottom of my throat. When I apply pressure to the outside of my throat near my clavicle I feel a bump or pressure. It also hurts like I have the mumps or something.*

*These things are real, but there is no point in panicking about it.

writing about my discolored bowel movements had gotten me to think my health too much, and now I am sure that I have cancer. that ignoring all that green shitting is going to come back to pay me in the ass. (sorry bad pun. god I hate puns.)

I am going to have problems swallowing tonight I think. Maybe acid reflux causes cancer. yes I seem to remember reading that somewhere. the doctor will tell me i have a 50% chance of living. I hope she is cute. I hope she lets me cry. I hope I am tuff enough to win, to beat out cancer even though being tuff has nothing to do with beating cancer.


DCup said...

I will not tease you anymore about your bowel movements. I didn't realize the full extent of their diagnostic value.

Will deep breathing help the panic attacks? I mean will deep breathing make them less severe?

I tend to drink lots of water and chew my nails when I'm panicking. I don't know that it's helpful, but it does keep me regular. Kind of.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Don't listen to the holistic prudes. Take some benzodiazipines and drink hot chocolate and you'll feel a lot better.

Who you going to listen to anyway about panic attacks, gringas or a City Jew?

Romius T. said...

I hate chewing my nails and other people who chew their nails, If I saw you schewing on them nails I might have to bitch slap you d-cup

I don't have access to prescription meds. I have tums. I have asprin. I have beer. SO I had 9 of those each.
feel better.
prolly still dying.
now I just dont
not thinkin
about it

Alan B. Mollohan said...

If you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks, you are not alone. According to the National Institute of Health, 1 out of 75 people have these attacks at some time in their lives. It is estimated that twice as many women than men suffer from this disorder.