It was raining today so I thought about Perry and the gallows.
I know way too much about Truman Capote movies now. I've seen at least three In Cold Blood movies over the last 2 years. And I watched 2 of them tonight.
Sometimes I think about sending all three of my readers to the gallows. Because I am sure that some of your aren't reading my other terrific blog Bathos for the Misanthropic. Or maybe you read Bathos, but never read Selp Help. Either way you are screwing with me. And people who screw with me get the BIG YELLOW BIRD.
And I am not talking about Duckies.
Now understand if you are not familiar with The Show with Ze Frank, In Cold Blood, or Truman Capote then you will not get any of these inside jokes. But if you are a long time reader you should make an effort to discover these things on your own. Otherwise I have to do everything for you, just like your Mom did.
Because of my fascination tonight over Truman Capote I think some people are beginning to worry that I am a faggot. They say I seem to know a lot of things about fags and they wonder. Like "How do you know that Bear is a gay term?"
"Because I watch Sex in the City, that's how."
For some reason this fact never seems to dissuade people. They only mumble things like "I am pretty sure that show was for chicks."
But I've gotten lots of hand jobs from my step-sister and I have fucked more fat chicks more times than most guys have masturbated to pics of Britney Spears bald head. So now who's gay?
This post is dedicated to In Cold Blood. Which gets the Official Seal of Approval from me. Romius T.
8 comments:
Your big yellow bird doesn't scare me. You think you can screw with me worse than I screw with you? I scoff in your general direction for two reasons:
1. My mother does everything for me, and if I tell her you're being nasty to me, she will no doubt call your mother and make insinuations in regard to your upbringing that may or may not have been lacking in class and refinement; and
2. My new Nigerian BFF.
So f off, chubbyf*cker! Ha ha!
First if your mom talks any shit to my mom their is gonna be a fight.
Not like some haggiling at a tupperware party but a fist fight.
Is your mom's gonna hang with that?
Second. I ain't scared of nigerians. Ok. Maybe a little bit.
Third, I totally knew your mom was totally doing stuff for you. My mom aint washed my dirty underwear since I was 8.
Fourth, what are the chances that a computer nerd blogging female is a chubby herself?
That means you would be so in to me, cuz fat chicks love me!
I am not a "computer nerd blogging female." True, I'm a nerd, and I have a blog, and I am a female. But I'm not a "computer nerd," as I grapple frequently with understanding the complexities of this "computer" thingie.
Also, I am not fat. And if you continue to harass me, I'll get my scrappy mum involved. She doesn't look like much... but she's freakishly strong.
I try not to mess with freakishly strong women, as it gets me in trouble. I think I better stop antagonizing you and start appeasing you.
Do you like appeasement? If not I will try something else!
Do I like appeasement? What kind of question is that? I'm a female. IT'S WHAT I LIVE FOR.
Appease me like I am Hitler and you are Chamberlain.
You can have Poland then.
Poland? What the Hell does THAT give me? Keep your Poles; I'll take Vichy!
Good day, sir.
You can have the Frenchies. They are all yours. I detest coffee. Perhaps you can whip them into shape.
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