Wednesday, February 14, 2007
I Got Hit On Last Night At A Bar. For the first time in a long time the girl was cute. Way cute. Cuter than you.
I just hope last night was a prelude of what god has in store for me. Maybe a little Valentine's Day Awesomeness!
I was at a local pub last night minding my own business. Mostly I just stood around waiting on my friends to bring back beer for me from the huge breasted bartender. We always go to wherever big boobed bartenders serve 25 cent beer. Even with a 5 dollar cover charge you can get drunk on the cheaps.
I must have been rubbing my nose absent mindingly, because a rather cute dark haired girl leans over to me and asks "Are you mocking me?"
That's not an unusual question for me to get asked. I usually am mocking you. But I was just zoning out at that exact moment she looked over at me and was not at all copying her.
"Because I was touching my nose at the same time as you." After she finished her question I notice my interrogator is really cute. Petite and young. Half my age I'd guess. This puts me at a loss. I can't recall the last time a women made a move on me.
Normally I am quite quick witted, but last night I had no retort. In fact all I could stammer out was "No, no ..I wasn't mocking you."
I am so cool. That must have sounded totally bitchin' to her. I am just some little girl who dared not to offend. My friends cracked up laughing at me. They insisted that I "dropped the ball" and "fumbled at the five yard line." One of my asshole friends even brought up Tony Romo's choke of a hold on a place kick that cost the Cowboys a playoff victory.
Talk about kicking a brother when he's down. But don't worry sports fans. Old Romius T. still has a few tricks up his sleeve. I got the girl's attention a few minutes later and used an eye contact thing I know. You ladies understand what I am talking about. Some guys just know how to give good eye contact.
She walked back over to the bar where I stood. I started with a run up the middle for 4 yards. "How you doing?" But things got better when she leaned in to me in order to hear me better. "Actually," I tell her "I really did mean to mock you. Normally I don't try and hide it. I just do it straight to your face."
She seemed relieved that I wanted to insult her. I noticed she travelled with three hipster wannabe tough guys. She made a point of saying to me that "They were just friends." So I figured she must be into water sports or something freaky. "You should say it to my face." She mutters to me half drunk. Her eyes are shiny and giddy.
I am not going to tell you much about what happened next. But let's just say that I punted and put myself into some pretty good field position. I am sure we will meet again and I can't wait to try for a field goal.
Happy V-Day everybody.