Saturday, February 09, 2008

Kirsten Dunst is in Rehab

Kirsten Dunst seems intoxicated. Kirsten Dunst acts erratically. So Kirsten is placed in rehab. I feel bad because I warned all you guys about Kirsten a while back. I knew she was sad and depressed and drank too much.

I think I said something about grabbing a bottle of wine with Kirsten and getting drunk with her.

and my lips will get cold
from all the wine we drink
like bitter lawn darts
swallowing our youth

I take that back now. I don't want Kirsten to swallow her youth down in a bottle with me. I want her to be ok. I stopped drinking a few weeks ago and my eyes still have the pale yellow glow of jaundice. I guess my liver will never heal. Just like Kirsten' s pain and troubles.

Kirsten got her big break in a Tom Cruise movie about vampires. She played an 8 year old kid who gets bitten and turned into an immortal creature of the night. Doomed to be eternally young. Obviously, Kirsten has never gotten over that role. Kid's are impressionable, and I am sure Tom Cruise had some kind of mind control of her. He probably played subliminal tapes while Kirsten slept to convince her that she really was undead.

Now Kirsten feeds on wine like it's blood. And it's all your fault Tom Cruise. It's all your fault!

Please don't suck my blood Kirsten. Just keep drinking the booze. It's the only thing that keeps you alive.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

These kids today, they can't handle their drugs or booze. Give me three days in a sweaty motel room with this gal and I'll cure her. Oh wait, did I say cure? I meant bang the holy hell out of.

Romius T. said...

we shoudl tag team her in my basement!