Friday, February 01, 2008
I'm on a health kick. I donate air time for a public service announcement.
I think it all started when some good looking guy went through my line buying hormone free milk. His hot girlfriend complained about the 30 dollars they just spent. "Because you need organic milk." She said.
I told the guy I thought buying organic was a good idea. "You don't want all those hormones in your milk. 10 year old girls get puberty early because of that shit." I figure if I start eating like this guy does I will be as good looking as he is, and I can have a hot girlfriend who complains about the cost of eating healthy. Those are my dreams, and I don't apologize for my dreams.
The doctors are worried about me. So now I am buying organic milk that has plant extracts in it. It's supposed to lower my cholesterol which is like 500 right now. I also bought some yogurt that has fiber in it. 20% of the fiber I need everyday in one little jar of yogurt. Not bad, because I have no idea what to eat in order to get the fiber I need. The only thing I know that has fiber in it is celery and sunflower seeds, and you can't eat celery in every meal.
All I know is that no matter how much health food I eat it doesn't matter, because all I do is add the health food to all the bad food I eat, and all those extra calories have to go somewhere, and by somewhere I mean my ass. But at least my bowel movements are little more solid. So who cares if I fart all day?
I thought I would add these public service ads to this post because for some reason this blog attracts a lot of attention from the perverts in the world selling beds called the Lolita to teen girls.