I can't vote. But I can get an i.d. at the DMV and stop by the bank and have a catharsis, so I can learn how E-banking sucks.

I took another trip to the DMV yesterday to get my identification card. The bus ride to the DMV took 2 hours. I was wearing my cool A & F blue and white striped polo along with a new pair of 567 Levi jeans. I'm 37 but some days I wake up and still feel young. I had a lot of energy yesterday, so I chose to enjoy walking to the bus stop. The day was crisp and clean. It had been raining lately and the storms had washed all the pollution of out of the valley. If I looked out at the horizon I saw mountains instead of the familiar brown haze.

I get to the DMV and a bunch of hippies are waiting in the "free speech zone." They want me to save the Grand Canyon. I tell them I don't have time. I want to give them a lecture on Objectifying nature, but I don't. The inside the DMV is abandoned. I don't have to wait in line to get a number. I fill out the paperwork and decide to register to vote at my correct address, and to change my party affiliation from Communist to Democrat, because I am tired of not being able to vote in the closed Arizona primaries. As soon as I get my number I get called up to a DMV agent. The agent is a middle aged Latina. I mention something about voting, and she starts in on how Bush is ruining America. She hates him and wants to vote for Hillary. She is worried that Obama is secretly too conservative. She insists it is better to go with what you know (Hilliary) than what you hope for (Obama). I can see her point.

I tell her it is a shame that Edwards won't be in, and she agrees. We talk about how the rich get richer and the FBI wants to track citizens with new "real i.d." I figure she hates real i.d. because it means a lot more work for her. I sympathize with her. I have to ask where I take my paperwork to get my i.d. or I think we would have talked for an hour.

I leave the DMV the whole process takes just 5 minutes and I make it back to the bus stop just as the bus pulls in. I stop at a great Hot Dog restaurant before making my way over to the bank.

I have a debit card again. I needed my freshly minted DMV identification card to replace my lost debit card. My banker has a "just voted" sticker on her chest and I think she is flirting with me. She seems concerned that someone could take my i.d. or my bank card and "rent a u-haul" or something with it.

I tell the cute banker girl that my credit is a mess and I'd be grateful for anyone taking on my identity. She laughs and says she can "think of all kinds of things that people can do with a i.d. number." She warns me to get my license number modified or the terrorists win.

I had a whole mess of things I needed to get changed while at the bank. My e-banking, and my e-phone password don't work. I need to deposit money so I can buy insurance. Basically I am stuck at the bank.

The banker chick ushers me into her office, sits me down and gets to work on my problems. The whole time inside her office I feel like I am in a counseling session. I wanted to tell her all kinds of things about my personal life. I told her I was like a chicken with its head cut off. I mentioned that chickens can live "weeks without their heads." I know I bring up points like this all the time in conversation with friends. I like to point out how the third biggest political party in the U.S. is the Constitutional Party. I read that fact on the Internet, and I am not too sure if it is true, but it informs my world view, so let's hope it is.

My banker laughed at all these thoughts. I say thoughts because I can't remember if I told them to her, or just thought them to myself, and superimposed her laughing on my jokes. I do remember she laughed a lot though, so I must have been funny.

Today, I tried logging into my e-bank account to check my balance, and to see if the password I was given worked. It doesn't. I tried logging into the account so many times that the account was disabled. Now I am back to square 1. I guess that gives me another shot at seeing the cute banker girl though. Nothing shows your dominance over a female like pointing out her flaws and mistakes.