Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Sun is cooling off like a big douche bag, but the Sun could never be as big a douche bag as Mitt Romney

I just got the chills. I read an article about how the sun is not giving off as much heat as it usually does. And that started to worry me. I don't normally worry about things like the Sun freezing, a giant asteroid hitting the Earth, or the super volcano that can erupt at any time, and end life as we know it. Things like that don't happen very often. So I don't waste time worrying over them.

But what if the sun really stopped working? What if it suddenly quit on us like Mitt Romney did? I mean other than quitting today, Mitt Romney never gave us any indication that he was a flip flopper like that. One minute he's in the next he's gone. He still has all that money to spend too. Millions left he could loan himself. Hillary loaned herself millions, and no one thinks any less of her.

I can't sleep and I can't concentrate. I don't think I can concentrate because I am having a hard time concentrating. It might be the caffeine. I've had six cokes since midnight, so I may not sleep at all tonight. I am not writing even though I come up with a lot of ideas when my head is buzzing from caffeine. I know most of them aren't any good, but that's not the reason I am not blogging. I'm not writing because I can't concentrate for longer than 3 seconds on any one topic. I have Netflix on my brain. I just watched three movies they delivered to me. One of them was Sunshine. A movie about the Sun cooling off. It gets 4 stars out of 5.

D-cup had writers block and still manages to post a great blog. My blog lacks focus and I post sporadically, because I can never think of anything "specific enough" to this blog to write about. Today I have lots of ideas. I want to start a section on the blog for grocery store etiquette. I want to teach you all how to act in a grocery store because your momma never did.

I want to talk to you about a fun anthropological experiment I've been running. I convinced 4 teens to join me in plural marriage, otherwise known as the "principle" in Mormon circles. As I write this post, I have 6 teenaged girls fighting over me. All my new spirit wives are tyring to establish their pecking order within the "family." Spirit Wife number 1 gets my heart. Number two has my babies, and Number 3 gets my body. Four just wants my money. My new nickname is "baby-daddy." #1 wife Leslie introduced me to her Mom as her "spirit husband." I hugged Leslie goodbye in front of her Mom. I don't think that was a good idea. I am pretty sure her Mom is going to have me arrested soon. Why? After I hugged Leslie goodbye she said "no kisses this time, not in front of my Mom."

I've never had girls fight or get jealous over me, so you can imagine how much fun this is for me. Maybe I am an idiot but I've always believed it when my girlfriends told me they didn't get jealous. I guess my behavior doesn't inspire passion from women. I treat women with as much respect as I would like to get treated with some day. I think we know that will never work. Only high status men are attractive to women. You can thank evolution for that. I have no beef with natural selection, it's just that some men are able to confuse women by exhibiting behaviors that mimic high status, when they are really just being jerks. You'd think women would have adapted some kind of mechanism to counter act the mimicry effects of jerkiness, but you'd be surprised to see how few have. I guess that's why it pays, evolutionarily speaking, to be a jerk.

When you examine passion scientifically, you find that passion is just a button you can push. Molesters, charlatans, abusers, and manipulators understand the human psyche better than Freud. Love is a condition and not the transcendent experience we are taught to believe it is.

I'm an atheist so you'd think I could have accepted that emotions are built on circumstances and not attached to some kind of soul, but it's been very difficult for me to let go of that notion. Maybe one day I will let go of it, and maybe one day I will get laid again.

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