Tuesday, February 12, 2008


I joined a union today. I even got my pin. I am not sure I would have joined the union if I did not get my pin. I warned my rep as I was filling out my paperwork that she better have a pin ready for me. I've seen some of my co-workers with the pin on their aprons, and I really wanted one. It's worth the 500 dollars a year in union dues just to get the pin. Lucky for the union she dug in her bag and found a pin for me and my babymomma (spirit wife #2). Yes, I forced my spirit wife to join the Union too.

I wore my new pin proudly all day at work today. It's the first time I felt like I was part of something bigger than myself. Part of a team. I was unusually polite and friendly to customers because of my pin. I wanted customers to know that union workers are better than non-union workers.

I was high from joining the union the first 2 hours at work. Then I got an early break and my back began to hurt. I went back to being courteous and efficient. I took a pain pill after my back began to really hurt. I became serious and unhurried, until the pill took effect. Then I was back to pleasant and efficient. Union proud.

I don't like working for corporations, but I did not mind working today because of my newly acquired union membership. I took the job because daddy needs to eat, and daddy wants to drive a Land Rover someday.

The union claims to have stopped these cutback from management:

  • topping out pay at 10 dollars an hour
  • 22% cut in pension
  • no sick day
  • no holiday pay
  • no pay raises
  • eliminate 20 hour a week minimum
  • permanently reduced health care benefits
Management was going for draconian cuts like these even though we have had 48 straight months of increased revenues and profits. That's right. The company is not losing money. It brags about how much money it is making in it's newsletter to us, but would still like to make all of its workers earn less than Walmart employees.

What kind of country do we live in? Why is this OK? Why are the shareholders viewed as the only stakeholders who matter? IF workers can't get pay increases when times are GOOD, when will we see them? What are they going to do to workers if times get bad? GM decided to buy off its entire labor force so it could replace them with cheaper workers. Welcome to end of the Manufacturing Era in the U.S. We are eating our own. Soylent Green was people. New and improved soylent green is workers!!!

Why is it acceptable to cut workers out of the gains of productivity seen in rising profits and revenue? It's not. It simply is immoral and wrong. We need to be outraged by instances like this.

Some people like to point to Costco as a company in the retail trade that treats its workers ok. It's true. They are lot better than the big grocery chains and the Walmart's of the world. Costco pays it's workers better and appears to think that stakeholders other than shareholders have value. Costco CEO and founder James Sinegal likes to brag that his salary is only 550,000 dollars a year after bonuses.

He does not like to brag that he has made 150,000,000 dollars in stock options over that time. I've applied to Costco. For the record, I had to fill out a 100 question personality test again. I really need to work for the government again. Maybe something in counter-terrorism.


Diane Tomlinson said...

If Soylent Green was people what the fuck was Soylent Red???

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

America, and Spirit Wife #2, works best when we say union yes!

Romius T. said...

Soylent red is beef or so I have been told.

hilarious dvn