Monday, May 31, 2010

I defend the Nazi's on Memorial Day because I chase controversy the way Tara Reed chases tequila shots with beer

Happy Memorial Day!

Remember that when you are at war...anyone against you is your enemy.  The enemy is your "enemy" only because he is dangerous.

I like to speak in tautologies. 

That's because stupid people (here I mean you) are always thinking that they've heard something profound whenever they hear a sentence that "uses different words to say the same thing twice where the additional words fail to provide additional clarity when repeating a meaning."

At the risk of offending some, I don't have that much to say about Memorial Day.  

I won't lecture you about grilling steaks and taking your 3 day holiday for granted, because I don't believe in giving lip service to the banalities that you hear on TV.  And I am not going to tell you how I honor "their service" because I don't.  

The sad truth is I never think about the "sacrifice" all "these people" make to secure me my freedoms.

According to the Onion I am no different than anyone else who is not a member (or a family member) of our Armed Fighting Forces
I may not be a super patriot, but I won't defend myself by  guiltily regurgitating the silly left wing reaction that "because service men volunteer to join the Army  just to blow shit up" we should get to mock the white trash that take bullets for us in far off strange countries.

The truth is that getting to blow stuff up is a great reason to join the Army, and if the service did not require push ups to enlist I would have joined up for the very same reason.

But don't go jumping to conclusions.  I  have problems with military service.  For one, I don't think we should defend this country.  I have my reasons.  Allow me to enumerate. 

  1. We do a lot of bad shit in the world.
  2. We have a history of doing evil.
  3. We do evil shit to ourselves (like the working poor and middle class who do the fighting for us thereby letting the rich win the class war.)

These are just facts.  If you don't like them, then you should avoid caring about facts the way Sara Palin does.

Now that we have thought about those facts for a second let me extend to you a corollary to these facts.  Nazi Germany may have worked out okay. You know sometime later.  In the long run that is.  Because overall the Germans are a civilized  people and would have seen the errors of their ways just like Americans eventually decided that slavery was bad.

Most Americas even feel guilty about the genocide that we committed at the hands of the Indigenous population that was here before us.

File:Bison skull pile, ca1870.png
There used to be a hell of a lot more Buffalo than there are now.  You fucking Genocidal American. 

If America can overcome the history of genocide that started this country, if it can overcome the heinous sin of slavery that allowed it to prosper, and learn from those experiences to become the beacon of light that allowed it to kill 200,000 Filipinos in the 20th century without blinking,  then surely we can fathom a future * side-place where the Germanic people could have overcome their little "Jewish problem."

So if the Armed forces aren't necessary to defend us against the greatest evil of the 20th century are they really needed at all?  Muslims don't have much in terms of an army.  And none of the countries we are currently bombing and killing are able to do much other than grab a few box cutters on commuter flights.

I told you I don't think we are worth defending.  And the second point was that I am not sure if I think we need to...

But Happy Memorial Day to you G.I. Bill getting mother fuckers anyways!

*see Lost and the "flash" sideways if you want to discuss.

No comments: