Tuesday, June 01, 2010

If you've got kids then you need to read this post

In case you were wondering this is Miley Cyrus' camel toe.

Sitting in my undies and the house is 92 degrees today.  In order to prevent dehydration I've got two fans pointed at me, and I am drinking decaffeinated ice tea.

I have a lot of things on my mind, but the thing I am most worried about is how the Reddit.com link I submitted is getting down voted. Current status? I have 2 down votes to 1 up vote.
No one on Reddit seems to get that my submission was a joke about time travel (which should play well with all those nerds and geeks that read Reddit), but it turns out that the geeks and nerds that read Reddit.com are just too young to get sarcasm even though they have never know a life that was not distanced by irony.


I am trying to decide if I want to take a shower and go get something to eat.

I don't have to.

I do have some left over bean/meat burrito mix which was quite yummy last night, but what I really want to do is get a cola or some soda or caffeine as the tea I am drinking has none so it makes the whole idea of eating left overs unappealing.

Another bonus for going out is that the temp is super hot in here and going out would enable me to cool off for a bit inside WhataBurger's awesome A/C.

I was supposed to go to luch earlier today, but the whole world ditched me in favor of going to the welfare office (or some such and other activities all of which include not hanging out with me.)

I wonder why anyone would ditch me when I could enamor them with tales of a not finished post on Memorial Day?  (A post that I now have to back date, because I waited too long to write it.)

The post has nothing to do with war, but so what?  When do any of the things I write stay on topic?

I should run to the store and get a coke and eat some burritos then I could stay home and finish the old post (not that any of you are waiting on my next post so what does it matter, eh?)

I think I am bummed out because way too much sweat is collecting around my ribcage, and I have a shit load of laundry to do.

I know what you are thinking.  Does this mean you are trying to get "real" and make this blog like super personal like you were a 19 year old girl?  I have no idea, though I am out of testosterone since I just jacked off.

I should have gotten up earlier, so I could have had Indian food for lunch.  I love Indian food and live close to the best Indian food place in the Valley.

I think I could live on Naan bread alone for the rest of my life. If given the choice of just one food item that had to be eaten for eternity I would choose Naan.

Speaking of hypotheticals, would you torture 2 children to save  5 million people?  That's the story line from the movie Unthinkable.

I got to say I think I would.  Ironic, since I oppose torture on principle.  But you got to think if you have actionable intelligence then maybe you got to torture.

Here's how I'd do it.

First you split the kids up.  Next you take the first kid and take him to daddy.  Shoot kid in face.  Don't even ask dad a question.  Next tell dad that you are video taping this.  Tell him you will show video tape to second child while he is dying.  Tell Dad you will kill child by having him eaten to death slowly(maybe by tiger or some kind of flesh eating virus.)

While dying, Kid has to watch tape of father refusing to save boy. We promise to resuscitate child as often as possible so that he must die several times.

Second child would be watching interrogation/our plan for him.  Bring child in to show father he is still alive.  Offer a chance to have father give up info.  If father refuses start torture of child.  Tell father that we may keep him alive just to make him watch child die by being eaten to death.  We may kill him and revive him as well as much as it takes.  Maybe give him a few months of relaxation to get him to forget and start over.  This time with cousins, random children, any other family members you can find.

*random factoid* If you Google "how to kill your baby and get away with it" you will get no useful information.  Somebody ought to fix that.

I think I will.

Don't use bleach.  It does not get rid of blood stains.  Do not buy cleaning supplies.  This is obvious to police investigators.  Do not Google "how to kill your baby" this is also obvious.

More hints on the way so make sure to check back to this page as I will update it as often as I can!

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