Go Forth and Die

In my room under my bed there is a white towel.  A crusty white towel with stains on it that I can not identify.  I pick up the towel and walk into the bathroom.  Someone has scattered dirty q-tips on the floor.  The toilet is unflushed.  My toothbrush lies useless though the cap on the toothpaste is open.

There is a commercial lying to me on TV.



I would shake my fist at you.
"They are only pants."
I would say
"They don't solve anything."

The monkey on your back is a living breathing thing.
It sucks up the oxygen in the room.
Like I am doing now.

In the shower
you let the cold water
run down your toes
You stare into the drain
for eternity.

In a few minutes
you will make a joke
or you will have a
snarky reply

I would be like you
if I could.
If I could ignore the center
of my being.

It would be a better life

do not think about the
the emptiness
of existence.

Like you
I pretend I do not see
anything

Instead
I  look up
prescription pills
on the internet.

It makes me feel better
just knowing
Xanax
is out there

and someone
lucky
is not
feeling today