Libertarianinsm is a cult.

Today I met a girl who looked just like the girl pictured below.



Really.  That pretty.

Though it turned out she was Mormon and was probably only being nice to me so she could indoctrinate me into her cult.

Women this pretty are only nice to me if they think they can get something out of me.  Usually the thing they want is cash.  Which in my case is not a lot.  I usually only carry 4 dollars in change and a bus pass on me.

My poverty only pisses off the strippers that unluckily end up sitting next to me.  The conversations we have are usually brief, but sometimes they are hideous entertaining.

The girl I met at work today smiled at me a lot.  She had the prettiest little smile you have ever seen.  It was a smile that showed something of her soul.  It was like she really was as nice as she appeared when she gathered up her grocery bags and told me to have a "really great day."

I was basking in the glow of her comment when my
Mormon courtesy clerk told me that "that chick you thought was hot, was a Mormon."

My face just crumbled.  I sighed and shrugged my shoulders at him.  "I guess there is no hope for me after all."  I said.

My bagger just nodded at me.

"It's funny how you still get your hopes up after all these years." He said.  "Your so old."  He reminds me.  "When are you ever going to learn?"

I guess maybe never.  Just like the American people never learn.  The Texas Bumpkin with the funny economic beliefs might be a racist, xenophobic, Christian  fundamentalists, who would rather offer up his daughters to a rape craving crowd before he'd ever hire watch a couple of dudes play Howdy Doodie in the parking lot of his Holiday Express.



The girl at the grocery store is just like Rand Paul or John Stossel.  She dresses nice and seems like a normal person.  But you can't take anything she says seriously.  Remember, she's in a cult. 

I should have been wary of the sparkle that girl had in her eye for me.   Just like you should have been wary of the sparkle in John Stossel's eyes, or in the folksy charm of a crusading Texan and his melon headed offspring.

People on a mission always have a zest for life.

I bet if you ran into the path of one of the crusaders  he would have sat you down and insisted on telling you about the "invisible hand of the free market" that guided him down to this spot.  He would have told you that rational thinking is silly.  He would tell you we should give up on thinking and just relax.  Let the market take its course.

Then he would have fed you some bullshit about how companies are "constitutionally protected people with civil rights."  With feelings as well i guess since we aren't allowed to insult BP.

All I know is that corporations serve at the pleasure of the government.  And hence is you want the protections and privileges that are now provided in perpetuity (like not paying taxes) then you have to understand that the corporations are not "private entities" but are in fact "vehicles of public accommodation."

That fact is plain and apparent to everyone (even to an asshats like John Stossel.)  The fact that he and others (I'm talking to you Rand and Ron Paul) would try and conflate the private individual (with his rights and protections) with a public entity like the corporate stock company makes me more than sick to my stomach. (It gets me a little gassy too.)

You can try a trick like insisting that corporations aren't "public" but "private" but only if you are under the influence of an all encompassing world view that structures your every thought and belief.  In short a cult.

Let's be honest.  I'd convert for a cult where I got to keep a hot chick on my very own planet.  But that's because Mormonism is my kind of cult.  Unlike Libertarianism.  Which is a cult.  But a cult with only one hot chick.