Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Always take the advice given to you by a homeless girl

I don't have any fun on this blog anymore.  I hate all the new readers I have. They seem to blame me for all the reports I do on teen girls.

I guess what they don't understand is that I am not the mainstream press, and as such I am not contractually bound to deliver the news in the bland "fact friendly" way they are used to.

If you want facts and shit, then go to CNBC or something.

What I have to give to you is my opinion.  And lucky for you my opinion is interesting and awesome and full of a funky beats.

Twitter is the only place I seem to get any good attention anymore.  Lucky for me Twitter exists as it turns out you morons are not capable of producing full length diatribes, or comments on this blog anymore.  The only thing you are good at is talking (if that talking can be kept under 3 sentences.)

Yesterday, I tweeted I was hitting on a couple of homeless girls at Burger King.  One of my twitter pals wrote that, "There is nothing sadder than when one of your friends is hitting on the homeless."

Of course my Twitter friend is wrong.  There is something sadder than hitting on the cute homeless girl at Burger King.  Getting shot down by a couple of cute homeless girls.

Like these bitches think they have better options.

I mean I could tell these girls had not eaten that day.  I was going to buy them 2  double cheeseburgers and a soft drink of their choice.  I was gonna call in sick and we were going to head back to my place with a couple of e pills for them and a bottle of k-y jelly for me.

I promised them I was not going to get naked.  I promised them I was not interested in video taping this shit. I just wanted to see what was going to go down.  I really thought we'd have some fun and they could go back to not showering and not wearing deodorant tomorrow.

But all was lost as some black guy who must have been their pimp came to pick them up.

They did not seem happy (or for that matter too unhappy) about their fate.  They just accepted what was about to come to them, and for that I kind of think of these girls as Mother Teresa or something.

I think these girls have access to some kind of deep emotional truths that I need to get a hold of so that I can understand how to let go of all this "worldly" shit and trust that my new found "acceptance" is not really just "resignation."

Not that I would have a problem with giving up.  I just don't know if I could ever commit to it like my homeless gurus.

Join me on fucking Twitter you fucking fuck faces.  You get access to my real life too!  Woooo! Scary good shit!

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