Jared loves porn as much as you do

I don't want to blog much.

Mostly because it is Day 3

of my constipation.

I went to the store to buy a laxative.

I did my Internet research afterwards.

Turns out I bought a "stimulative" laxative.
The worse kind.

You can die from taking them.

So instead I ate some chili.

But the chili has no fiber.

Beans, but no fiber.

So I sit without relief.

Not so easy.

Either is this.

Former fat guy Jared from Subway

used to run Porn

from his college

dorm room.

He charged a buck a day per tape.

we are told he had quite the collection.

Shocking, huh?

That a huge fat man had an extensive porn collection.

After jerking off

all day

Old Jared would

waddle down to the new

subway that was just built

in his dorm room.

And scarf down a couple of subs.

Was he eating them without mayo and cheese, even then?

What does his wife think of all the extra flabby skin he must have.

What does she think of his encyclopedic knowledge of

1980's beta max pornography?

I tell you this.

She doesn't give a shit.

She is way to hott for him.

She only cares about his money.

I hope he knows this.

I hope he just fucks her for her looks.

Meanwhile I took a small dump

during the typing of this post.

My liver still hurts.

I am not sure if the shit was enough.

I may need to shit more.

It was a small dump.

nothing huge.

Or maybe my liver is just shot.

$3.79 down the drain.

I wanna go back to the drugstore and get my money.