Thursday, May 31, 2007

I know where you can score some PBR for a buck a can on Wednesdays in Tempe

I hear people are in an uproar over that guy who has drug resistant TB flying around all over the world. News organizations and bloggers are falling over themselves pretending to hear about this kind of thing for the first time. They should have been panicking a long time ago. I've blogged about a case like this back in March when I wrote about a Russian in Phoenix who was placed under quarantine for really bad TB. Much like Andrew Speaker this Russian guy is a bit of a crybaby.

"They're making a criminal out of me," he added. "I've been crying almost every day. . . . I'm all alone. No showers. No sunlight. It's the silence that's pushing down on me. . . . It's the worst you can get, even if you murdered somebody."

You see I am always helping my readers out with important news like exactly how many people who have incurable TB are living near them and exactly how many Pabst Blue Ribbons one needs to consume in order to get a hangover. That number is 8. Plus or minus one.

The Palo Verde is a dive bar that is one part hipster bar with a rocking jukebox (that only takes quarters) and one part homeless beer provider.

$1 cans of PBR on humpday brings in the crowd. Even if the ASU students are gone for the summer. Even when the PBR reps waving around corporate debit cards have all been fired. You can still see the assorted working class mingling with the slumming college kids who think real street cred has something to do with tattoos. It doesn't. Street cred is about choosing a bar because of the dollar specials they have, not using Daddy's credit card at the bar provided ATM machine. $2.50 surcharge for each withdrawal.

If that ain't enough to get you going the jukebox has a single song selection from UFO. Highway Lady. A song about a prostitute. The lyrics from the song include the words " she makes you smile and makes you forget how she she feels."

In the imortal words of someone I can't remember. "I'll never forget!"


Evil Spock said...

Is a symptom of TB becoming a whiny little snot? Evil Spock will make sure to avoid those sorts of people, just in case they have consumption.

Oh, and PBR tastes like bad soy sauce, or perhaps Evil Spock just had a bad batch the last time, because Evil Spock doesn't touch the stuff anymore.

Give Evil Spock a Blue Moon with an orange wedge.

Romius T. said...

If evils Spock chooses oarange wedged blue moons over PBR he may have become infected with TB. Curable at this point. But infected!

Jezebelsriot said...

He may also be a sissy, but just because of the orange slice. If he removed that he would be fine.

Around here people fist fight over which is the better cheap piss-tasting beer- PBR or Stag.

Romius T. said...

stag? what is this stag you speak of?

Jezebelsriot said...

Gold can with a deer on it, tastes like warm piss, even if it's cold. It used to be popular among manly hunter types, but now a younger generation sees some kind of 'irony' in drinking it at posh bars.