Friday, May 04, 2007

A Daily PitchFork Exclusive of a World Daily Net Story of a Rapper Turned Dancing Rapist


Hell has no Jail Bait.
But like me they do love a good Jail Bait story.

Like the "story" of a rap star turned rapist that the paragon of news The World Net Daily tries to pass off as true. According to the WDN the biggest rap star in the world was accused by a minister of performing a dance "which bordering on sexual simulations" on his daughter.

Look, like the rest of you I assume most rap stars are rapists. But I have no idea who this "Akon" guy is. I don't think you can consider yourself a rapstar until dorky white guys who don't bother with your culture know who you are.

Then again maybe Akon is trying to pop into my milieu the same way that the guy who pissed all over some girl did. I think he got his own South Park Episode or something. So I can't really blame they guy for stirring up trouble. Also, this is probably the first and last time I will think about World Net Daily, so kudos to them as well.

And finallly a special set of congratulations goes out to 14 year old Danah Alleyne who's slutty performance got me to pay attention enough to know who the world's biggest rap star is. Welcome to the Jail Bait Hall Of Fame girl.

Go visit the PitchFork for tons of pics and links!

8 comments:

Cavalor Epthith said...

You are the Matt Drudge of Jail Bait. A bright career awaits you in this digital realm.

Romius T. said...

matt drudge. wow. i am complimented!

paal said...

Wow. You've got some great B-celebrity theology going on here.

Romius T. said...

why thanks for noticing paal.

Yas said...

you can consider yourself a rapstar until dorky white guys who don't bother with your culture know who you are. oh my god so funnnnnyyyy!!! hahahahahahaaa!!

that's it! you're goin on the list! ;p

Romius T. said...

Thanks Yazzy. I've returned the favor!

Jezebelsriot said...

The true travesty of that story is that Akon is not a rapstar. He just sings whiney crooning ooohs and aaahhhs in a nasal voice while popular rappers rap over him.

Romius T. said...

I don't get why all these nasly rap stars are maing it big lately.