Monday, May 07, 2007

Was that wrong? Why reenactments of the movie Swingers will get you called gay and upset the delivery guy!

[The following conversation is not verbatim]


Inside the home the Suns/Spurs playoff game is on the 27 inch Apex TV. 2 men sit on the couch facing the TV 1 is in a recliner and another man sits in the love seat.

A doorbell rings and Card Shark gets up to answer the door. They are expecting pizza.

Romius T.
Hey, Shark, is he cute? Is he hot? What's he look like?

- Is he brown? Maybe he'd like to come in and join us for a cocktail.

- Is he polite? - Is he a brown man? I like'em brown. Don't let him get away!

The Gang

-Stop it. Romius, Stop what are you doing. Don't do that. That's gross!

There are cackles of laughter. And further protests by everyone else in the room. Everyone is embarrassed and flabbergasted except Romius who can't get over how funny he is.

Romius T.

-Invite him in.

-Don't let him get away!

-If he's polite, have him come in.

If he's polite, let him in.

-Is he clean?

The pizza guy makes his way into the living room. He is carrying 2 large pizza boxes and 2 bottles of soda. He is tall and looks to be under about 20 years old. He has a perplexed look on his face. He looks over at Romius confused and a bit worried.

Romius T. (addresses the delivery guy.)

It's OK. I am doing swingers. You know the movie. I mean your a pizza delivery guy. You gotta know that movie. All pizza delivery guys know this movie. They do right?

Pizza Delivery Guy

-I don't know that movie.


He doesn't know that movie. He's too young.
Romius T.

-No way. Everybody knows that movie. That movie was big. It was huge.

Cut to Paul who snorts with laughter. He is dismissive.


-The movie was not that big. Nobody knows about that movie. You know about it maybe...maybe I do...but not everyone.

Romius T.

Oh, Come on! It's penetrated the cultural Zeitgeist! It's out generational... Are you saying he's not hot?
The X-Man.
-Don't fuckin' do that shit.
-That's not funny! He's gonna think we are gay.

Card Shark

-I don't want my house to be known for that. I don't want the delivery guys to think that about this house.
Romius T.
-You guys are assholes. You're all no fun.
-Go!! Eat, eat, you fuckin' jackals.


Knows It All said...

I know that movie, and have always thought that movie sucks.
Do me a favor and don't quote it?

Although I am a fan of annoying food-service industry people.

Evil Spock said...

But if the Pizza guy was into it, you could've got happy endings.

Romius T. said...


wait a minute how can you say that movie sucks? no way!! awesomeness is the movie i say!

he was so not into giving happy endings!

Yas said...

oh my god i sooo got it and i was laughing over here! hysterically!

and i wasnt even there to see this live! ;p

good stuff. :D

Romius T. said...

I like that we think the same stuff is funny. Nobody else got it. But I'm glad someone did!

Fredrick Schwartz said...

The question of the day Romius is would you fuck a skinny lesbian think Clea DuVall until she conceives, for the purposes of giving her the child she has always wanted?

I totally get Swingers man you hang out with some really sketchy cats.

Romius T. said...

I'd fuck any skinny bitch!. I love em skinny. I am so tired of all the fat chicks who want to suck out my sperm it's crazy!

my feelings exactly freddy about swingers and my "sketchy" friends!