I get creepy eyes from the swinger couple who drink way too much wine, I discover old people like them some donuts

Here are some random observations about my customers:

Old People Like Donuts

old people like donuts
and other than kids
I never see anyone else
buying donuts.

I wonder what will become of donut shops when all the old people die.

I get stalked by a couple of Swingers

I thought swinging died in the 70's like the American dream. But swinging didn't die, it just reinvented itself under its new name "the lifestyle."

There is a middle aged couple who shop at my grocery store nearly everyday. I know they drink way too much wine because they buy two big bottles every time they shop. They always make the same excuse that they have "company over" and are "entertaining." They both have that artificial boomer glow. They get a long of sun and so are way too tan. They always look like they are on vacation. The husband always wears shorts to the store. I don't think the man owns a pair of trousers. Their faces are rose colored from the burst capillaries like those of an advanced alcoholic or maybe a hobo from the great depression, and I am sure they are both potheads. The wife is so glassy eyed it's spooky to stare at her to long. The wife wears low cut tops and is heavily freckled from tanning, so I want to stare a bit.

They are nice. Way too nice. They thank me endlessly for bagging their groceries or swiping their store credit card so I can save them some money. They call me by my name and make a point of not looking at my name tag as they say it. They both speak to me in the sing song voice of a cult member. Everything is shiny. Everything is fun. "Everything is happier here." Their voices tell me. Maybe I can meet them for a drink sometime. Maybe I would enjoy one of their famous dinner parties. The lifestyle. It beckons.

Is it bad in America when people use Coinstar to pay for Top Ramen?

You can tell people are feeling the recession these days. Almost 30% of my customers use food stamps to pay for their items. Many people use coins and coupons to buy Top Ramen. I know people are doing what it takes to stretch their budgets and I am the last guy who wants to make fun of you, if you are buying Ramen with money from your coin jar.

But I don't understand the a couple last night that bought 200 dollars worth of grocery items, but they only had 66 dollars. The guy bought a water filter for 20 dollars, and then he tried buying groceries for the week. Basic math is essential here. He seemed genuinely surprised that you can't buy the entire store for 60 dollars. Hasn't he heard food prices are up?