Monday, March 10, 2008

SELF HELP CENTER PODCAST Volume 9

I am sitting here in my "lounge pants" responding to all the e-mail I get from my readers. I say lounge pants, but what I really mean is my pajama bottoms and the 99 cent t-shirt I bought for 99 cents at the 99 cent store. I'm sorry I was too lazy yesterday to write a post to go along with this podcast. And I know this blog post has nothing to do with this podcast, but you've come to expect that kind of thing from me.

I bet you are wondering what I am doing up at 10:24 am. I fell asleep at 3 am yesterday, so my body thought to wake me up early today. I have no idea what I am supposed to do with myself all day, as prime time tv watching is hours away.

Today is my Sunday which means I have to go to work tomorrow. I am out of toilet paper and paper towels and I forgot to brush my teeth last night, but on the up side last night I did the dishes and made brownies. And not those kind of brownies you little pot heads. I don't pander to pot heads. I know if I just acted high and talked about Ron Paul this website would be bombarded by 20 something skanks and skater dudes driving my numbers to the point that I could paid advertising . But I can't stand skaters, and I hate Ron Paul because he's a scary motherfucker.

I'm thinking of heading up to work to buy some granola bars and to get some toilet paper. I don't really need toilet paper, I buy it for company. I use wet naps and I pray every time I flush that the water goes down. So far it has. I'd go right now but I think most of my spirit wives are still at school or hung over and I am hoping to run into them at work and have them ask me to buy them alcohol. I figure them getting drunk at my place is the fastest way to get them to like me.


2 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

"I use wet naps and I pray every time I flush that the water goes down. So far it has." We all have to be thankful for something I guess.

Romius T. said...

indeed doctor, indeed.