I wish I was a baller (spirit wife #1 gets her song on.)

You know the song where a short guy dreams about being taller, being a baller, and having a good looking girl, (You know because he'd call her.) I guess I like that song because it finally shows the creative side of being stuck short and girlfriendless.

Leslie (spirit wife#2) is complaining that I don't write enough about her. She also wonders why I wrote a screenplay for a new TV series called "my boyfriend is gayer than Skittles" and dedicated it to her and her new boyfriend. But we hugged for like 6 minutes after work today and I had to promise to write about her if I wanted her to keep hugging me like that.



I am not really surprised that she would barter away her hugs for some male attention as her boyfriend is Mormon and 24. And if you kn0w anything about Mormons you know that the men who still practice their beliefs in their 20's but aren't married are considered a bit suspect and by suspect yes I mean gay.

Leslie is convinced that "skittles" is just bi-sexual and that we (meaning me and skitttles) could have a fun time jerking off to either gay or straight porn. I told Leslie that the only way that wasn't gay was "in a steven king novel," and she told me that I "seem to make that reference a lot," and she wondered what was up with that.

I'd like to change the subject to wife #3 and her obsession with the song "dirty girl." The song is ok, but watching all my spirit wives play like they have a microphone in their hands all the while shouting "you're a dirty girl, you're a dirty girl" is just way too cute of an image to keep to myself.



I've been busy here are the two lastest episodes of the Self Help Center Podcast. Episode 11 is a straight read of the March 15th post so if you have read the post, skip the episode.



Episode 12 I read the post from St. Patty's Day, and March 20th's post which includes tips on winning a free packet of gravy from me. I also read my world famous poem about throwong bottles of whiskey at homeless people.



Leslie here is a podcast I totally forgot about doing on you, because I thought the text messenger was someone else.