I hope your easter ham was yummy but stop trying to convince me that your kids yellow stained shorts come from eating too many peeps

I got a call from work today. They asked me to come in late. Normally asking me to show up late to work will put in a good mood, but If I am already awake and ready to work, and then you ask me to come in late, I'm not gonna be so happy. I ended up working 9 and half hours today. So I hope your Easter ham was yummy, because I forgot to buy flour tortillas on the way home, so I didn't even get to eat the left over burrito filing that I made last night.

I know you are wondering what burritos have in common with easter, but I figure most hispanics are catholic, and I think you get the rest.

Why is it that you learn all the cool stuff about people after they quit or get fired?

For instance the produce guy asked if I wanted to buy something from his department "on sale." The next day he quits. The guy finally gets around to showing me where the 99 cent stickers are and now he's gone.

It turns out that he must be some kind of crusader for jesus, because in addition to providing you with plenty of potatoes and honey dew, he is a part time exorcist.

Let me repeat that to you, for effect. My produce guy is a part time exorcist. Well, my ex produce guy was a part time exorcist. The exorcism buisness must be real good, because he is no longer a produce guy, he is now a full time exorcist.



I heard he quit because he was convinced that our bread aisle is haunted. This wouldn't be a problem for him except out bread aisle is inconveniently located next to the produce section. I guess he'd just had enough with all the bread flying off the shelf. I was told by the dairy guy that the bread doesn't just fall off the shelf. It flies off the shelf. The produce guy poured holy water over the shelves, but those demons who inhabit the bread aisle must have been too strong for his beliefs or his magic water, because it didn't work.

I think my produce guy should just let the ghosts have it with the AK-47 he bought over the phone while sitting with me on break a few weeks back. I remember spitting up my grape juice cocktail when I overheard him buying it. I just hope the guy is not aware that I am agnostic or something. I don't want to be shot. I love my back from the dead zombie jesus.* I really do.

*how is this not a movie franchise yet? zombie jesus , back from the dead, kicking ass and taking names. Killing demons and non-believers.

I have a list of people I am supposed to be writing about. I have my spirit wife #2 aka babymomma. Babymomma wants to know why I didn't write about her in my last post about my spirit wives. Naughty "m" wants to know why I haven't written about her (even though I did here.) And naught m's boyfriend wants me to write about him too. I think you bastards mistake me for your biographer. I don't think you understand something about this blog. I'm the star of this show bitches. So maybe if you want to get highlighted on this blog you can take up hobbies like exorcism, or hunting ghosts with AK-47's or something. Otherwise I can't just make this shit up for you.

Peace out.

romius t.