Thursday, March 20, 2008

I teach you what to say if you accidentally stick your finger in your girl friends ass

I have a secret theory that when a woman asks you why you stuck your finger in her ass on the occasion of your first love making with her, she isn't really interested in the epistemological foundations of free will.

"Baby, choice is an illusion. I can't tell you why I did that or anything else, after all consciousness is epiphenomenal."

She was worried that because I stuck my finger in her ass I didn't respect her. She's right. I never called her back, and I lost a great deal of respect for her, but it had nothing to do with her offer of anal sex on the first date. It had more to do with her inability to respect my philosophical position on mind/brain problems than her admission that she was a former prostitute that had sex with 200 men.

She used to like to brag about that to me like I was Oprah and I gave a shit about her "overcoming" her victimness. I was just glad I wasn't like the other turkeys, and paying for her shit, as it wasn't all that good, and I had a hard time believing she could give it away for free, much less charge for it.

She showed up to my work for a few days after I dumped her. Each day she wore progressively less make-up and smelled worse. I think it had something to do with getting fired and losing her "boyfriend" all in a time period of a few days.

If it makes you feel any better I saw her a while back at the mall and she was wearing as much makeup as you might expect a girl who used to sell her body for money and by that I mean a lot. She was eating an ice cream cone and buying stuff, so I guess she is not homeless and has a job now or went back to selling herself which I guess is good news for the guys who read this site as that is the only way you can get laid. If you see her, tell her hi for me, but also tell her "hi" doesn't mean that I want her stopping by and I still have my gun and can call 9-1-1.

No comments: