Tuesday, March 04, 2008
I let my spirit wife wear eye make up, but I wonder if I am allowing her to live outside the "principle" with all this freedom
I noticed spirit wife number 3 had on eye makeup today. I told her when a 16 year old girl wears eye makeup, she can give pedophiles and perverts the wrong idea. She looks almost 17 with the eye makeup so I think some of the perverts got the idea that they should ask her out. Without the eye make up she could pass for 10 and I think the pedophiles would just go straight for the molesting angle. I guess you could say she is sending mixed messages out there. I for one am not upset at all by that. I told wife #3 that it was great that she could play both ways, nearly legal and young. I thought that only added value to her look, but some of you perverts are going to disagree. You are going to tell me that her new eye makeup look will destroy the purity of her little girl look. I think I'd like to tell you perverts to quit being such internet alt. discussion fags and accept her- eye makeup or not.
Some more advice to creeps who ask out my 16 year old spirit wife. Don't ask her out while she drags in carts to the store. Don't eye ball her up and down and shout "damn girl you lookin' good," for the most part this just doesn't work. I recommend buying her lunch and charming her with stories. Ask if she needs a ride home, tell her you might have a car in a week. Tell her you can buy her beer. Tell her you will buy her wine if that's what she says she is into. When she tells you that she is only with her last boyfriend because she had on "beer goggles" tell her you are more than happy to provide an additional pair of goggles as it will benefit you.
I give advice to my spirit wives because that's what a spirit husband does. What a spirit husband will not do is walk you home if you live 3 miles the opposite way of him. Not that I wouldn't mind walking the 3 miles for spirit wife #3. I think she might get a little creeped out if I walked behind her the whole way, occasionaly ducking into the bushes to avoid beeing seen by her.
Spirit wife number 1 came to me with a problem. I am seen as the village elder at my store. I have a good 20 years on most of the kids working there. So anytime they have a problem they seek me out for my advice.
"Aideen just asked me if it was ok that his penis is red and blue. I know that it's disgusting that he asked me that, but can a penis turn red and blue?"
So I had to give a bit of sex ed advice to spirit wife #1. I told her how when the male penis becomes "engorged with blood" it can turn funny colors, but just the tip of it. She thought that was gross and I reminded her that she bleeds from an opening between her legs.