Thursday, July 22, 2010

An open letter to Verizon Wireless.


The rumor that BIG RED is EVIL is true

There is a rumor floating around the internet that Verizon is going to go to a tiered internet pricing plan for their smart phones.

I can't tell you how upset I am about this.

Q. Why the hell would anyone buy a smart phone if they can't use the damn thing like a smart phone?

A.  They bought an i-phone.

Sorry about that Apple fanboys.  It's not my i-fault.

Reasons I am quitting THE EVIL BIG RED soon.  

Verizon's vaunted network is slow.
Verizon makes its subscribers pay a premium for access to their network on the idea that they don't drop calls and that they deliver a great online experience.

I guess that's why I pay 30 dollars a month to get internet on an Env3.  The Env isn't even a smart phone, but I still get charged like it is.  My Env3 struggles loading content from Verizon's V-Cast.  I'm forced to sit through the machine "buffering" multiple times during most any video I watch.  the web on Verizon is horrible.  It's like I'm holding an i-phone 4 with my hand in some kind of death grip.

Verizon is about to pull a bait and switch.

 I am a premium subscriber who throws his money away on Verizon by paying for crap like V-Cast, unlimited internet, and Verizon's crappy Navigation service.

Verizon forces you to buy the "all you can eat internet" because the only other plan they offer is 10 bucks for 25 mb.  25 mb is shit.  25 mb is like looking at your homepage twice.

I thought I was the kind of customer that Verizon wanted.  A subscriber who buys all the premium services they offer.  But I am not.  The kind of customer Verizon wants is the customer who pays for things, but does not use them.

Verizon.  Why did you get angry when you offer a service like unlimited internet on 3g and then notice that people actually use it?  Let me give you some advice.  Try to think of a buisnes plan that does not involve hoping customers pay for a service, but then choose not to use it.

You are not LA Fitness.  LA Fitness runs a shady business   that hopes you are fat and plan to stay lazy.  They hope you don't want to work out.  They wan't you to sign up and forget about the services you are paying for.

They are shitty company.

Your plan won't work because you provide a service even fat people want to use.

Why didn't you foresee what it would cost to provide your network to people and then charge them for it?  Was that too hard?  Is the price prohibitive?  Then why offer data plans in the first place?  Why go after manufactures and push them to create monster phones with dual core processors?

It's because people don't talk on your networks anymore?  And people who don't use their voice minutes don't want to pay for your overpriced calling plans.

So you play your version of the bait and switch game and charge 20 bucks for texting, even though your cost to send a text is basically free.

Why not follow Virgin mobile and do things like 25 dollar all you can text with only 300 minutes?   Kids eat that shit up.

Why Verizon is evil.

Verizon has the same business plan that your drug dealer has.

First,  get us hooked on unlimited DATA.

Then you pair the unlimited DATA with one of the Incredible Droid smart phones in your line up.  Then you wait for us to go over the modest limits you will set up so you can stick us with massive overcharges for the extra GB's.

(Sounds like what you guys used to do with voice minutes.)

Additional rant about why vErizon is evil.

Your decision to go with tiered data is pushing us back to 1991.  AOL and the $4.oo a minute internet internet pricing was the thing that kept the masses from getting online.  I hated 1991.  Do you remember anything cool about 1991?  That's because there wasn't anything.

All you can eat data is what brought the internet to the forefront of media world.  Going backwards will only cripple technology and the progress of mobile phones.  I want my quad core 2ghtz 2 gb of ram phone dammit!

You are EVIL. So very Evil.

Quit being EVIL.

6 comments:

Stef said...

You seem to have an unhealthy obsession with phones. Just an observation. Not hatin'

Romius T. said...

I was quite certain I hid that. I'm just gonna let it all hang out now. I may have to start another blog!

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...

I hate cell phones. I hate that we used to all pay $35 per household for a house phone and that while average household incomes have not risen, we've all accepted that each individual may have a phone cost of up to $100 per month for a smartphone. I hate that on top of that we also pay for cable and wireless. I opt out. Except the wireless. I'm a whore for internet. Sad, but true. I can, however, take a week off and feel just fine.

Romius T. said...

I could never take a day off without the internet silly sweedish, that's why i need internet on my phone and am willing to pay out the ass for it!

Alecia said...

"Your plan won't work because you provide a service even fat people want to use."

I love this sentence.

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