But my friend was basically inconsolable. He just kept staring at the doorman with these crazy psychotic eyes. The kinda eyes you all assume I have. But you're wrong. In actuality I am really quite placid and laid back.
Funny thing is while she thought I was telling him that he didn't need to be harassing her, I was really telling him to instigate some trouble with her. I guess the point is here that you can't even trust the dopey middle aged guys at a bar who look like they are trying to prevent the perverts from touching you.