Friday, March 23, 2007

If you've come here to read about the Midget who enjoys jail bait, read on.


People send me lots of e-mail. And its not all just about midgets who love the Jail Bait. Though most of time it is.

According to AzCental.com

An actor who has had several minor film and television roles was in a Maricopa County jail Thursday on suspicion of sexually abusing a 15-year-old girl.

Jonathan Simanton, 36, of California was staying with family when police say he fondled his nephews' teenage baby-sitter in Scottsdale.

Simanton, known for his 3-foot-6-inch height, has acted as an elf in Surviving Christmas, an Oompa Loompa in Epic Movie and a small part in Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie.

Police reports offer the following narrative of what investigators believe happened Tuesday based on an interview with the victim:

Simanton was staying at the apartment while the victim was baby-sitting his three nephews. The two spoke throughout the evening and the victim told Simanton she was 15 years old. Simanton said he would date the victim if he were 20 years younger.

Simanton called the victim into a bedroom where he was lying down on a bed. She sat on the floor next to him. He then proceeded to fondle and kiss the girl without her permission.

The victim told Simanton she had to go to the bathroom and left the apartment to report the incident. Simanton admitted to touching the victim inappropriately, and there were indications he was under the influence at the time of the incident. He is being held on a $4,500 bond."

Now Just how a 3 foot 6 inch guy can get accused of molesting a 15 year old is beyond me. Way beyond me. It seems to me that if your the same size as the person you are "fondling" then it's OK.

Plus I am pretty sure you are allowed to fondle the breasts of a 15 year old in Arizona. Or all that time I spent working at the Law Library was for nothing.

I am not a lawyer, but I did play a ghetto lawyer at work for 4 years.

Arizona Revised Statute 13-1410. Molestation of child; classification

A.) A person commits molestation of a child by intentionally or knowingly engaging in or causing a person to engage in sexual contact, except sexual contact with the female breast, with a child under fifteen years of age.

I gather from the law that it is perfectly fine to sexually manipulate the breast of any female aged 15 and above.

It's not like the guy was trying to post pics of a girl who's father is "a national candidate for president" on the Internet. I mean that would be wrong. But only really wrong if you "come out" as a ChoMo and call the 5 and 8 year old "hot."

4 comments:

foxxxylove said...

I'm so glad you use the article I send you for good instead of EVIL!!! Tee hee hee

Romius T. said...

When I am entrusted to certain bits of knowledge that have been given to me for the purpose of enlightenment I must follow through with good intentions.

"jew" "girl" said...

"It seems to me that if your the same size as the person you are "fondling" then it's OK."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. truly brilliant.

Romius T. said...

you and I we would make that a new law!