Saturday, April 19, 2008

I like cake because it is nicer to me than you

I can tell that none of you are interested in hearing my podcast. I get statistics mailed to me every day. Either way here is volume 16. It features a blog post reading from Bathos for the Misanthropic. My Sweet Pea refuses to listen to my podcast because she thinks I sound like a rapist. I have no idea what your excuse is. If you don't want to listen to it you could at least submit the podcast to That way you won't hinder all my new fans from joining the fun you are having by keeping this blog all to yourself.

I don't think it is very nice of you to be so selfish. Lots of listeners means lots of money for me and lots of money for me means I will devote myself full time to this blog. I would write everyday and start my book about the angel who has to face a giant headed baby he created by having sex with a red headed human. I know you can't wait for me to finish my novel, so get busy making me famous. Or you will regret it. I will find you when you are alone on some staircase and I will push you down the stairs. I will stand over you after you fall, and I will mock your new found paralysis by speaking to you from then on only in the computer generated voice of Doctor Steven Hawking. I don't think you want that.


Anonymous said...

This is where I whine about my bandwidth limitations. I can watch many videos or download podcasts because I get locked out of the internets if I do. And then I whine about that.

I'll be unselfish and digg you or something. Maybe link you, but that sounds kinda dirty.

I will be unselfish. But whiny.

Freida Bee said...

Good, I just wanted to get rich off of paralysis money and live the rest of my days annoying you in your grocery store in a riding cart. Beep. Beep.

Romius T. said...


I have never heard of people who have bandwidth limitations on their internet. How is that possible? Do you live in 1996? Can I borrow your time machine?


No matter how I demean you, you manage to own it! I am so impressed.

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOD!!! I LOOOOOOVE the new picture you have up. i wasn't referring to the kitten cuddled under a blanket (although adorable), but the smoldering, sexy adrian grenier. you have such great taste - your blog is better than ever!

you know what is the only thing missing?

a picture of a puppy playing with a ball... something like that.

Anonymous said...

the improvements to your site are OUTSTANDING. adrian grenier AND a cute dog?? can it really get any better than this?

whomever convinced you to make these remarkable changes to your blog really deserves an award.