Saturday, February 13, 2010

Almost Heart

First time this week I have woken up without a hangover.  I got up a full 36 minutes before I have to jump in the shower and run off to work.

Work is lame, but I only have six hours shifts this week.  Not so bad.  I do have to work Sunday which is Valentine's Day.  That sucks as I was supposed to go to the Communist Picnic Sunday.

I requested the day off, but alas it got changed because all of you dick heads need to run to the grocery store on the day of the holiday and pick up a box of chocolates, a dozen droopy red roses, and a $5.99  Hallmark card that tells her all kinds of squishy things you never feel about her.

This is done so that you don't have to be nice to her the rest of the year.  At least that was told to me by my friend the Girl Robot.

Girl Robot is mechanical and cannot feel human emotions, so she gets pissed off when humans try and feel things even though we all know you  guys are mostly incapable of feeling things.

"Tell me one couple who has a good relationship."  She offers me as proof that humans are incapable of feelings and good behavior.

I list a few couples we know.  None of them are happy.  I then suggest she adopt a life of monkism like myself.

"Nobody wants to fuck you."  She replies curtly.  "That's different."

Her cruelty will not go unanswered in the next life. 

Her unpleasant words still ringing in my ears, I saunter off to the customer service desk where a girl offers me a tip for printing her money order for her.  Then she offers to double the tip if I show my tits.

I undo the top button on my shirt in a faux strip tease.    She suggests that my strip tease would earn me 4 dollars. 

She giggles and tells me it was nice to meet me even though we never exchanged introductions.  Though she knew my name because I wear a name tag.

Do you remember my Valentine's Day Post from a few years ago?  If you don't here is the link.  It was somewhat funny.  Go remember it.

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