Talking about piss breaks is not what you call good blog material

I did nothing today except go to work. Work was regular except I did not tell myself "that I hate my life" all the time I rang up groceries. Which I guess is good.

Instead I actually heard myself be cheerful to all my customers.

Whenever I sound cheerful my voice goes up an octave to the point where I don't quite sound masculine.

Not that I really need to bother sounding masculine these days, since I have not been laid in years. I guess I should just give up on LOVE. I am so old that all that puppy dog stuff sounds implausible to me anyway.

I drink caffeine late at night. It is TWO in the morning and I am drinking my third coke (I have no woman to tell me to not to.) Because I drink coke so late at night my sleeping habits are out of whack. I stay awake every night until 6 0r 7 am. How is that normal? I don't know, but it has become normal for me.

When I drink caffeine late I wake up early because I have to take a piss.

(About 10 am)

I piss. I check the A/C to see if it is still running. I go back to sleep. I wake up at noon. I take another piss. I check the A/C again.

This piss catalog does not include the piss I took before going to sleep, or this piss I will take an hour in to trying to go to sleep. This piss catalog is just a catalog of my pisses after I lose some form of consciousness.

12:30 pm

I check the time on my phone because I am too sleepy to subtract the 15 minutes from the real time that I set my alarm clock ahead. Because I set my alarm ahead I don't trust whatever time my alarm clock says to me unless I have been up at least 3 hours. I check various e-mail accounts on phone because turning on the computer would cause me to get out of bed. All the e-mail is spam. Spam from the blog. Spam from all my personal ads on Craigslist. Not even the "LA Fitness Killer 'Type' Seeks Much Younger Female" gets a real response.

The lack of response from the Female seeking Male public has deflated my obsession with George.

1:00 pm

I use whatever mental faculties I posses to calculate latest time I could get out of bed and still make the Orbit "it's free- so that's why all the Mexican mother's with giant fat babies ride it" bus.

A further note on the woman/girl/baby momma riding the Orbit with me- She had the most masculine looking feet …EVER!

2:14 pm

I am startled out of a dream that instantly fades from memory. I jump out of bed, smartly jamming my ingrown toenail into the yellow stained folding chair that operates as my "writing" chair. I curse Yahweh.

2:54 post-morning

Orbit Bus. The A/C works. I sit to the back. I like sitting on the "wheel."

3:01

I arrive safely at the TEMPE Bus Station.

3:02

I run to catch Route 66 bus. The bus's signage tells me it is running North, but the driver reassures me, "it will take me south."

3:18

Bus travails 2 mile trip to work in just under 16 minutes.

3:25

Purchase cheese and cracker snacks for 88 cents.

3:30

Consume said cheese and cracker snacks.

Read book. Get interrupted by fellow workers' comments on book.

The book is God's Problem: How the Bible Fails to Answer Our Most Important Question--Why We Suffer.

You should read the book.