Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Ode of Alienation



It's the little things that send you into despair.

Never buy the knock off brand of Oil Of Olay. It will only smell like the cheap 99 cent suntan lotion that your mother used to buy from the 99 cent store.

She'd lather the stuff on you and your brother in globs. But as soon as you jumped in the ocean the cheap paste would rinse off and leave you both with giant blisters on your shoulders that the free clinic doctor would need to pop with needled syringes.

The nursing staff would remember how many times this had happened before and mother would try and play it off. But you always caught the concerned stares of the experienced nurses out of the corner of your eyes, and somehow those stares were worse statements of mother's incompetence than the painful burns that distorted your gait out of the clinic.

7 comments:

Lisa said...

Moms do what they have to do, I guess.

This was a tight post. I like it.

Anonymous said...

I hate it. Get it together, son.

Anonymous said...

Also, the real Oil of Olay is cheap crap for suburban housewives (and apparently their kids).

Avoid sunlight, party your balls off.

Romius T. said...

mommie was not suburban but white trailer trash, so that was expensive "might as well be plastic surgery" oriental oils from the nice mall...and i bet her kids believe every word of that....

Romius T. said...

thanks lisa!!

DD said...

This post isn't getting any better with age. Get off your ass.

Romius T. said...

Hey DD I am sure the newest post has nothing to do with you calling for new material. lol.